video games

Caroline - posted on 04/01/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My 14year old son has become way to attached to playing video games. He has resorted to all kinds of behaviour just so that he can play. Nothing we do to stop him seems to be working. Would appreciate any advice on this.

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Jodi - posted on 04/01/2015

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He resorts to all kinds of behaviour? Nothing you do to stop him works? Are you actually serious that you can't see the solution here?

Remove the game machines, devices, computers, whatever it is he is playing these games on. Just remove them altogether. If he can't behave and use them responsibly and without being a brat, then he doesn't deserve to have them at all.

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Ev - posted on 04/03/2015

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I have to agree with the others and be a parent not let the child walk all over you like this. Also in reading the posts, it sounds like excuses are being used to get other ideas. It is common sense to take away the problem in this case video games and game equipment. Also making him stay home from the friends and the malls is another way to handle this issue. Give him chores. Find groups he can join with kids that have interests in things other than video games. Find a sport he likes to play and get him on a team. I do not know what libraries have going on where you live but here where I live they have a lot of activities for kids during the month and special ones for holidays during the school year and then summer. They range from writing classes to book clubs to even crafting classes. So quit the excuses and get something going for him.

Caroline - posted on 04/02/2015

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Thank you Ledia. Its enlightening to hear how others do it, without a looming I hate you. Here in South Africa the last thing you want is your child mixing with the wrong crowd.

Ledia - posted on 04/02/2015

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I agree with Jodi, just toss out all of the video game consoles, games, and TV's. Yes, he can still go over to his friends' homes or to the mall to play, but those restrictions should seriously limit the time he is able to play.

It costs money to play at the mall--so if you think he is playing too much at the mall, increase his financial responsibilities so that he learns to prioritize financial needs above spending money playing games. In other words, don't buy him everything he needs, and don't buy him anything he wants--if he has money for games, he has money to spend on other wants and needs as well, but he won't do it if he knows you will be there to buy the other things for him.

Between extracurricular sports, music, and volunteering, he can't really have that much time to play video games at his friends' homes, and his friends have commitments as well. A couple of hours a week isn't going to hurt him, you just don't want him playing a couple of hours a DAY. Make him walk to the friends' homes, and don't let him go over until all homework, music practice, and other lessons/practices are complete. For example, when my son was spending too much time with another kid I wasn't fond of, I moved his guitar lessons to 5pm and martial arts to 6pm. This left two hours after school for homework--more than enough time to finish homework, but not quite enough time to go to a friend's house before having to be home for guitar and MA. I also try to schedule his volunteer commitments in such a way as to limit time with said friend, and extend time with friends of whom I approve. You can do the same with your son's gaming friends.

Chana - posted on 04/02/2015

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Caroline she is our resident troll. Repeat after me...NOT MY CIRCUS! NOT MY MONKEY! Another mom gave me that advice a week or so ago. It helps when you really want to feed the troll. LOL

Caroline - posted on 04/02/2015

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We never thought youth groups, and iam sure there some christian groups that are naturing and all. Nip it while we still can hey.

Chana - posted on 04/02/2015

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Caroline, I understand what Jodi is saying and he is a child and you are the parent. As the parent have you tried setting time limits on how long he can play the video games. Just a thought because that will allow him game time but also make him have to do other things. Have you tried getting him involved in other activities like sports, a youth group, etc. I don't know what is available in your area but you can look into it and maybe find something else that he would enjoy.

Caroline - posted on 04/02/2015

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Thanks ladies, guess this is just the beginning of many more fighti to come. Soon it will be girls, mumbling back, and all the other stuff.

Jodi - posted on 04/02/2015

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I'm sorry Caroline, but he DOES have options. So do you. Learn to say no. If you have an issue with him going to the mall or to his friends' homes and playing video games then learn to say no!!! I am honestly not understanding the issue. YOU are the parent, HE is the child. I fyou haven't given him permission to go, then PARENT him. If you can't do that, then don't complain that all he does is play video games. With the behaviour he has been having, he doesn't deserve to be allowed to go to malls or freinds' homes. He needs boundaries and consequences, but it isn't sounding like he is getting it - instead, it sounds like he pretty much does as he pleases.

Caroline - posted on 04/02/2015

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He has a sister who complains and refuses to play with him. So his friends are his only option.

Jodi - posted on 04/01/2015

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Why is he allowed to visit friends and go to the mall without your permission?

Caroline - posted on 04/01/2015

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Thanks Jodi. We have removed all items that make him play these games, but he will go visit friends and play there, he even walks to the mall to play inthe video shops. Believe me it's frustrating my husband and I repeating the same conversations and looking for newer punishments. Bought him novels to read none has been opened yet.

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