Visitation

Teresa - posted on 02/06/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My kids father and I are soon to go before a judge for visitation rights... We've had a rocky history together in an event where he threatened to give one if his exs baby drugs to get her in trouble. I fear for my kids safety and we have 2 babies together. What can I do to ensure their safety???

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Teresa - posted on 02/06/2015

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So he can get me in trouble so he can keep them. That's what he wanted to do with his ex. I'm afraid he will and after taking his ex to court he married her.

Teresa - posted on 02/06/2015

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No our rocky history had a lot to do with his ex causing problems, his pill problems, stealing and lying. I took too many chances but he chose to not come back

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2015

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They way the situation is now, you can take the kids and keep them as well. Is that fair to the kids? To deny them a relationship with their father? Has he ever harmed them? Yes, he made a bizarre threat, but why would a father wanting to see his kids more routinely risk poisoning them?

Teresa - posted on 02/06/2015

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I have no problems with taking a drug test:) he said he would get his kid to eat it.

Teresa - posted on 02/06/2015

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In MO if he takes them without court order he could keep them. I've talked to an attorney and they said as of right now public is best and if he can't agree then it's his problem.

Jodi - posted on 02/06/2015

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And no, it isn't "nonsense". If you don't have proof that your children's safety is at risk with their father, then he has as much right to have time with them as you do. That you took care of your oldest child on your own without him before you met him is entirely irrelevant. If they are "downing" you, unless they can prove these things, they also have nothing to go on.

Jodi - posted on 02/06/2015

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So you currently have a co-parenting relationship where you "let him" see his children in public by themselves. See that term "let him". Right there, you are turning this into a power battle as to whether he is "allowed" to see his children (yes, they are his children too). You are trying to dictate to him what he can and cannot do with his children, and yet you, the mother, can do whatever you please with your children. Can you see how this is an imbalance of "powers" with regard to your parenting and how it may actually be a bit cause of that "rocky history"?

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2015

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Nonsense or not, he is their father. If he wants to see them he has a right to visitation. I responded in your other post. If you truly believe he would hurt your babies, then try to get supervised visits. Without any proof that he is a threat, he will likely get to be alone with the kids. He may have said he would do such a terrible thing, but to really give a baby drugs? How would he even do that?
Maybe you both should consent to drug screens as part of the process.

Teresa - posted on 02/06/2015

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1yr and 2yrs old. I have let him see them in public by himself and now he won't agree. I also have an older girl and they have contacted her dad and stepmom and started downing me. I took care of my oldest two yrs before I met the babies dad it's all nonsense

Jodi - posted on 02/06/2015

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If you have evidence that he has threatened their safety, then present it. But if not, then he will get visitation. If that is the case, what YOU need to do is try to make sure that you try to allow their father in their life as smootly and with the least conflict possible. This includes trying NOT to control how he manages the children in his own home, being a little flexible here and there, encouraging your children's relationship with their father, keeping communications with their father to be ONLY about the children, keep him informed of what is going on in the children's lives, and so on.

How old are the children? It gets easier as they get older to minimise communication with the other parent if there is ongoing conflict.

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