Vote yes or no for having kids hand in cell phones at bedtime. Thanks!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/02/2012 ( 187 moms have responded )

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Want to prove to my daughter that I'm not the only parent setting rues for cell phone use. Like to see how many parents here vote yes for taking away phone at bedtime and how many vote no. Thanks for your feedback!

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Liz - posted on 02/27/2012

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I wouldn't give my child a cell phone until she is of an age to use it responsibly and commits to doing this, so probably not before 16 when she will be driving. There's just no need for her to have one before this.



Technically, if (when we eventually get to this point) I find myself wanting to remove the cell phone at night because of poor grades, late night texting/calling etc, then she'll lose the phone 24/7, not just at night.



If she's responsible with it, then certainly by that age I will want to show her a degree of respect by not treating her like a kid unless she really messes up and requires the intervention.

Sherri - posted on 02/03/2012

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I remember breaking down in my car several times. Once was at 11pm and I had to walk up to a strangers house and ask to use their phone for help. I never want my kids to ever have to do something so dangerous.



Another time I had to walk on a hwy over a mile till I found a pay phone. Once again I never want my kids to ever have to do something so dangerous.



For those that say that you don't have to walk on the highway because that are what patrol police cars are for. Well sometimes you may not see one for hours and hours do you expect your child to just sit there for 2 or 3hrs or possibly more till one arrives?? What if it is winter and now they have no heat??

BethAnn - posted on 02/03/2012

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My kids don't have cell phones at age 12 and 9. We live in the country do they don't need them. We take them were they need to go. But when they do get cell phones my rule is that there is NO tv, internet or cellphones in their bedrooms...ever!!! That includes friends as well. Internet needs to be monitered. It can be a very dangerous tool. The reason my child will get a cell phone is to call me so I know what is going on. I am not paying for a cell phone for her to talk to her friends and text. If she wants to talk toher firends she can do it on our land line phone. I think there is a big prblem with secrecy with our teens today. We as parents need to stay involved with our childs friends and their lives. And texting all night is not a way to stay involved...So no you are no the only one who says no cell phone in the bedroom. Yes take away the cell phone in the bedroom all together..

Lorri - posted on 02/02/2012

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I vote yes! I have a 14 year old daughter and I make her turn her's in to me before bed every night. She respects the rules because on the weekends we always stay up later and she has more freedom with it.

Good luck!



Lorri

Jodi - posted on 02/04/2012

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To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't even have asked for advice, because it's a personal decision. The OP has obviously already made the decision and is now just trying to prove something to her daughter.......shouldn't just laying out the rules of the mobile phone have been enough? "These are the rules, you either abide by them, or you don't get a phone. period". Don't negotiate with her. You don't have to prove anything.

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Tara-Liann - posted on 04/20/2014

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ABSOLUTELY!!! I have my daughter hand in every electronic device at bedtime. If I don't one of them is BOUND to start up and beep and ring and wake her. Why would anyone need a cell when they're supposed to be sleeping??

Phyllis - posted on 11/26/2013

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Yes. And their friends when they spend the night. You do not want the children in your care to be exposed to something of which you have no knowledge! They're kids. They need supervision! You know that she needs your guidance and protection, even if she doesn't know it (or wanna admit it), right now.

Good luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/11/2013

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Oops, I meant thanks Val for the very kind encouragement! I really appreciated it.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/11/2013

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Thanks to all! It's been a challenging year but the encouragement from so many moms here helped me know I am good company and doing the right thing. We also put big limits on numbers of texts per month, so she is very rarely texting now. We took off all internet access from her cell too. Things are so much better around here now. Thanks again everyone!

Elizabeth

Ev - posted on 04/10/2013

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I vote yes for taking phone away an hour before bedtime. I am also a proponent for setting limits too.

BethAnn - posted on 03/16/2012

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No cell phone in your room at all at my house...My kids are 13 and 10 and they are not getting cell phones until they can pay for it themselves. And there will be plenty of rules. We alos don't allow TV, internet behind closed doors- only in a public place. There is too much interenet bulling going on and in our day we had to talk on the phone right beside our parents. There is too secrecy in todays children/teens. I have heard parents say that their kids are texting all night long...Not at my house.

Victoria - posted on 03/15/2012

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yessss!! my son has an iphone and i insists its on the kitchen counter at bed time!! :)

Carla - posted on 03/12/2012

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No question. Yes. Period. Teens will be up all night on the phone if they are allowed. Its just the way it is. Doesn't make them bad kids - just not making good decisions when it comes to school nights.



Weekends, its a different story - stay up until 2 or 3 on a Friday night texting. You can sleep a little later, but you still have chores to complete the next day.

Val - posted on 03/10/2012

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Absolutely, YES! You are the parent and until the children are 18 years old, you make the rules, not them. I am considered the "cool" mom and I am well respected, as I respect other parents and thier rules in thier individual houses. It's just a respect thing.



Your mom is a good one, someday you will understand that.



Good luck Elizabeth!



Hugs,

Val



PS. I trust my child until proven otherwise. Trust has been broken at times and there were consequences.

[deleted account]

Lis, perhaps my posts are colored by the fact that I have raised 3 teens into adulthood and am now on my 4th. My children are 34 (with 3 children of her own), 31 (with 2 children), 27 (no children, living on her own), and 14. I stop making unilateral decisions for them by age 13. Between ages 13 and 18, the decisions are jointly made with them having the final word by age 18. I see my goal as a parent of a teen is to guide them into making good decision to prepare them for adulthood. I feel that can't be done if they never experience the consequences of making bad decisions. To bring it back to the thread topic, if they repeatedly stay up late texting or talking on their cell phones, demonstrating they they lack the self control and/or the ability to say no to their friends, yes, I would take the cell phone away and not just at night. I would then control when and where they have the cell phone (i.e., for an event where they need to call for a ride home) on a case by case basis. But I would (and did not) not just assume that they would not be responsible before the fact.



Chris

Lis - posted on 03/08/2012

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True Chris...we feel that if you as the parent set the example, most times they will follow or at least obey your rules until they move out on their own - then it is up to them. Even my 20 yr old son obeys those rules. =)

Tabi - posted on 03/08/2012

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Yes, I feel the teenagers will not go to bed like they are suppose too. I know from my sisters staying up till 1am or later on their phones. They need to be turned in or put up in some way at bed time.

[deleted account]

Lis--thanks for replying. I was wondering. I know parents irl that don't follow the same rules but expect their adult children to follow the same rules as their younger siblings.



Chris

Lis - posted on 03/07/2012

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We absolutely follow the same rules we set for the kids, no phone or TV in the rooms nor cell phones.

Lis - posted on 03/07/2012

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There is no way we ever let our kids take a cell phone to bed, that is bedtime and that means rest. So they do not have any options, nor do they have a TV or regular telephone in their rooms.

[deleted account]

Another question for those who take away/put up the cell phones at night. Do you have the same rules? Do you not accept calls during family time and not have your phone in your bedroom during the night?



Chris

Dorothy - posted on 03/06/2012

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Absolutely, trust is not the issue. I know when I was younger, if I got a call, it didn't matter that I had to get up. With all the stuff on cell phones today, my kids would Never get to sleep.

Dawnann - posted on 03/05/2012

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As punishment I recently took away my daughter's cell phones and decided to go through them, only to realize that I should be taking her phone at night. there was'nt anything out of the ordinary, but she had been receiving calls as late as 11:00 pm at night. At that hour she should be asleep, because I am. My vote is yes

Tammy Lynn - posted on 03/05/2012

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I definitely say yes to taking away cell phones at bed time. Kids don't need to be talking on the phone at this time; they need to be resting. Also, at this age, it is hard to trust them.

Lydia - posted on 03/05/2012

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they do not need to have a cell phone at bed time, they have all day to use their toy.

[deleted account]

Dee. And I'd bet you learned more by texting through the night and facing the consequences the next day than from having it taken away from you.



Chris

Dee - posted on 03/05/2012

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Definitely! I remember being angry with my parents for taking my cell phone when I was around 16. But whenever they forgot I would be up until the wee hours of the morning on the phone talking about nothing. I would miss my alarm and have a late day. I never wanted to tell my parents they were right though lol

User - posted on 03/05/2012

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No phone at bed time, his charger is in my room, therefore if he want's his phone charged it sleeps in my room, powered down of course :) .

Chris - posted on 03/02/2012

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Late to the party, but I vote YES! My kids are 14 and 18 and they are not even allowed to text, much less use their phones after bedtime.

[deleted account]

Sarah, thanks for replying. I was wondering. We relaxed the rules as the kids got closer to 18 so that by the time they were 18, the only rules were the general household rules that applied equally to the adults as to the kids. Such as letting others know when you will be home and if you will be home for dinner, doing their share of chores, etc.



Chris

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2012

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Chris,

In response to your question, yes, the rules apply to all. My oldest is 18. We (my husband and myself) have made it clear that as long as they live at home there will be rules that they will be required to follow. It's not to say that we haven't had our challenges with rules but there are also consequences to breaking the rules.

Denise - posted on 02/29/2012

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Yes. If they are following the rule of not using the phone when they're supposed to be sleeping, then it can't possibly matter that you have the phone instead of them.

[deleted account]

Sarah, you posted that you have 4 teens living at home. Considering that the teen years are only last 5 years (numerically 7 but for those last two years, the child is a legal adult), do you have the same rules for your older teen/adult children as you do for the younger ones? And do you and your dh/so abide by the same rules?



Chris

Sarah - posted on 02/28/2012

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Yes. I have four teenagers and all of their phones shut off at 9 pm due to time limits put in place by us. They also have to turn over their phones so their texts can be read before deleted (and yes we can check to see if they match up due to our cell phone features).



To give a young child absolute control of anything at this point in life is asking for trouble. It is your job as a parent to make sure they are making wise choices in all areas, including spending their time wisely.

Beth - posted on 02/28/2012

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My son who was 13 had a cell phone but he didn't use it very much so he told me he didn't want to get more minutes on it. My daughter who is now 10 and will be 11 in a few months decided to give my cell phone number to a few of her friends and they wouldn't stop texting or calling my phone. So I gave in and got her a cell phone. Yes she earned it, No she does not have it when it is bed time, and no she is not aloud to take it to school. She only gets it after homework is done and chores are done. I check it every night to see who she is talking to and what they talk about. We live out in the country and so she has no kids her age to talk to, so I figured I would let her earn one. She only has unlimited text on her phone so no one can call her and she can't call anyone but 911.

[deleted account]

I agree Elizabeth. I'm saddened by the number of posters who are presuming that their child doesn't respect them or the family rules and will disregard them by using the cell phone after lights out. And that those posters also have no confidence in their children choosing friends who also will respect their family rules. I think that it says more about how those posters are raising their children than about the children. Why give the child a cell phone in the first place? Especially one that has all the bells and whistles. I think that I will bow out of this conversation. I find it way too depressing to continue.



Chris

LORI - posted on 02/24/2012

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Until a child turns 18 i feel there should always be limits. Children need their sleep. They should not have their phones with them at bedtime.

User - posted on 02/24/2012

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Many phone companies have a way you can "turn off" the phone for calling and texting at nighttime. So even if she had her phone, it would not work.

Gaela - posted on 02/22/2012

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One more note...not only would she not have it at night, but she also wouldn't have it at school!

[deleted account]

honestly, once the kid is home, depending on his or her age, there's no need for a cell phone and sometimes it just disrupts family time. also depends on how often the kid uses it anyway and for what purposes. for example, if i was in charge of my brother, who constantly texts his friends and is on facebook and says God knows what about i don't even want to know, he'd be handing over his phone as soon as he got home and made to do his homework. there'd be a lot of things i wouldn't let him do that his mother just puts up with.



but i think cell phones getting taken up at bedtime is a great idea. the tv and games go off, the computer gets shut down, why not the phone...

Humaira - posted on 02/22/2012

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OMG YES! I do not want to put ideas in your daughters head but the freedom to have a cellphone handy at night can get lead to a lot of trouble. I wish my parents had been more strict about it. You do not need it if your mom/dad are just down the hall.

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