MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Raye - posted on 03/24/2016
I think it would have been better if the lady had talked calmly to you about your daughter's behavior instead of yelling at a 3 year old. But, I can't help but think if she had said ANYthing about it (no matter now calmly) you would still have been upset and felt it was none of her concern. Who would be right and who would be wrong is kind of hard to judge.
There used to be a saying "it takes a village to raise a child". There is a shared responsibility that society should have for successfully raising children... from families, neighbors, teachers, ministers, doctors, employers, coaches, communities, government, etc. All these other people have influence over our children (whether we like it or not), and all should be taking action for the betterment of both child and community. Some parents get their panties all in a bunch because they think someone else is infringing on their territory as parent, and in some cases they may be justified in that, but then there are a lot of parents that aren't really living up to their responsibilities as parents.
And, in the case of that lady that yelled at you, she didn't know you from Adam. She didn't know what you had already told the child. She saw a wrong-doing and spoke up. Maybe not in the best way, but was she really out of place for doing it? And you don't know her either or why she reacted the way she did. Yeah, they're just flowers, but maybe her dead sister originally planted those flowers and she felt it was in insult. We don't know what others are going through either. She could have just been a crazy old woman. You don't know.
I would explain to the child that the lady over-reacted, but that the child was doing something wrong, and should listen to YOUR instruction in the future to prevent destruction of property or upsetting others around you. I want to point out, too that children benefit from hearing the same moral or societal "rules" from multiples sources, to lend credibility to these concepts (oh, that lady said it too, so maybe mom was right and not just trying to ruin my fun). Just something to think about.
Jodi - posted on 03/23/2016
You had already told your daughter a couple of times not to pick the flowers, and she continued. Where are the consequences for not listening? There weren't any. While it wasn't appropriate for someone else to yell at your child....if you weren't going to provide consequences, then someone has to.
Sarah - posted on 03/22/2016
What sort of example does it set for you to say something back to the woman? Technically your child should not have picked the flowers. If you wanted to say something to ease your daughter's feelings, then say it to her; "Theses are pretty flowers, maybe we should not have picked any so everyone can enjoy them"
This conversation has been closed to further comments
Ev - posted on 03/23/2016
Katherine--that incident with my daughter happened when she was four years old and old enough to know better about running off. I also had used an example of Hansal and Gretel that she loved to watch to get my point across. That scared her even more so. She still watched the video but it got my point across to her.
Jodi - posted on 03/23/2016
I wasn't suggesting that you approved of what your daughter was doing, but neither did you really do anything about it. The thing is, the other lady SAW that you were not really doing anything about it and decided to do something herself. No, it wasn't appropriate for her to yell and scream at your daughter, but I'm just saying that she probably felt that you were allowing her to do it because she didn't see you putting a stop to it. I'm just putting it forward from her perspective.
I also agree it would not have been of any advantage for you to say anything to her. I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
Sarah - posted on 03/23/2016
" I said no a couple of times and still while we were walking toward s our car she plucked one."
So she did disobey you, no one said you told her to go pick the flower. You don't say that you disciplined her for picking the flower. She's two, that is really little for time out and I doubt she understands the concept. That's just biology, not an insult to your child. All i said is what good would it do for you to say something back to the woman? It's not like she hurt your child, and she was right, the child should not have picked the flowers. Was she right in saying so? No. But again, what good would it do you you to defend your child's behavior?
Ev - posted on 03/23/2016
Katerine--they are not being mean about what they say in this but you did not in your post say you did anything else to stop her from doing it but put her in the car after that lady started to snap at her and you. Just saying no is not enough even in public. You could have picked her up and carried her to the car instead of allowing her to walk along and grab another flower. When my daughter was her age, she also picked every flower on the garden spots my mother had in her yard but for one. She got into trouble for it. But for the most part she was well behaved to the point we did not have to get onto her for much. She also once tried to run in a store and I took her out once I was able to get a hold of her and we sat in the car until her dad came out. I reminded her that doing that could cause her to be taken by someone and her dad and I would not see her again. I asked her if she wanted that. She shook her head no. She understood that running in a store was a no-no. She never did it again.
Katherine - posted on 03/23/2016
Jodi , sarah ,in my post i never mentioned that i approve of what she did. but she is just a child, we were coming out and she just went ahead to pluck one i told her no but by that time she had already done it . My child is disciplined and she does get time outs and understands it . She apologized too in the car later but my point or question was that disciplining my child is totally my business. no one else has the right to yell at my child .
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