Want 2nd child but husband will not help

Anon - posted on 01/03/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am a 38 year old working mother of a very difficult but fun and quirky 3 year old. I'm considering having a second child mainly because I think it would be good for my DD to have a sibling. But I haven't convinced myself entirely of the idea. I can easily picture my life with just one child. I am getting pressure from my parents, sister, friends (almost every one of them has 2 kids) to have another child. My husband thinks one child is enough but is about 10% open to the idea of having another child. However I know having a 2nd child will make our life hell initially. I am very patient and I know I can handle it but I need help. DH hardly helps me with DD and he cannot handle any sort of chaos. His reaction is always to yell (which I despise). Last year we almost got a divorce because things were so tense in the house as a result of DD. I know I can handle another child but I really think he cannot and in the process he (not child#2) will drive me insane. Today he says to me that we can have another child if grandparents can stay longer with us. By the way when DD was born the grandparents stayed with us for a total of 7 months the first year and he says he wants longer than that. He is always looking to do the least possible amount of work when it comes to taking care of kids. Am I crazy to still want a 2nd child?


Amy - posted on 01/03/2014




If you're having relationship issues to the point of almost getting a divorce there is no way I would have another baby. I certainly wouldn't have one because of family pressure. I think you and your husband need to decide together if you want another baby and if you don't get help now don't expect things to change with a second child.

Gena - posted on 01/03/2014




I wouldnt say you are crazy,but after reading your post i personaly dont think it would be a good idea.I think both you and your husband should be 100% sure to have a second and what i read from the post it sounds like you both arent so sure. Especialy if you almost had a divorce because of the stress that came with your DD.


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