Wanted father living in home. Refuses separation. Need advice.

Amanda - posted on 03/27/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




The father of my children(On and off seven years) caught a felony charge shortly after our now two year old daughter was born. (Two years ago) He had a drug addiction that lead him to prison. This leaving me with two children to care for while still recovering from giving birth, my daughters too young to know what was going on had otherwise thought he was out of town; he was incarcerated for a year. Once he was released he was to cooperate with 8 years of probation. While he was gone I had learned to be as independent as I have ever been, I am a young mother. I continued for a while and met someone, he had his significant others in this period. We were seperated for a year and after his release. This is when things started to take a turn he utterly disappointed me by relapsing and completely shocked me with a question of his orientation. At a crossroads and in a living situation I had no choice but to move in with him. For reasons I wont get into my relationship with that someone ended after a very short time, with no time to explain. I continued to live there and stop the drug use, it went on for five months behind my back, secrets lies and others being pulled in and out of this situation. During this time I had found an apartment, I was in this apartment for two months before the drug use got him arrested I spent my rent on his bail and lost the apartment. I again moved, with my family and he came with us. This whole turn had me depressed and all the while I was working two jobs. While at my mothers, I was gone during the day and at night at work. Not too long after we had been living with my family a man was textied the phone that we were sharing about having intercourse with him, I was disgusted. I was heartbroken, I still am. When this happened we fought he denied it. But this wasn't the first nor the last time he has cheated on me I acted calm, he did not know that I had read this text and I texted back pretending to be him and got as much information as possible before confronting him. Information that turned my stomach and had me puking. When I confronted him he denied everything, lied right to my face. He said nothing ever happened....A couple months later another text from a different man saying he wanted to meet up again, and do this and that again.. I walked outside and I called this person he confirmed everything what he looked like and that it indeed did happen. I walked back inside and was asked who I was on the phone with, I answered "The man you cheated on me with, he just described what went on and what you looked like" He immediately looked away and acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. Since this I tried to have him leave, and he had nowhere to go. I have found "gay" pornography on my phone that he had been watching while I was sleeping, and that was the last on this subject. As I mentioned before he went to jail while on probation. He was supposed to be cooperating with probation. He got a felony while on felony probation. I no longer want to be in this relationship and it has been this way for months, I care about him so much and worry about his well being and I'm am stuck and don't know what to do. Eventually it will catch up with him and he'll go back. I tell him how unfair this life is that he gave us and he doesn't take any action on taking care of his legal issues.
I am worried my custody of my kids will be taken away from me because he has warrants and he is living in our home.


Jodi - posted on 03/27/2014




Is the house in your name or his? If it is in yours, call the police and let them know he refuses to leave, and you have asked him nicely, but he is intruding in your home.

Aalieyan - posted on 03/27/2014




If you don't want to lose your kids then leave him. He is there in your home and at any given time the police and social services could and will do something. Don't let his burden weigh on your shoulders. What he's done is his fault and you were just there to see it. Do what's best for your kids.


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