John - posted on 03/11/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
I need some advice. I currently have an 8 1/2 year old beautiful daughter that I love very much. I have helped raise her from birth, with her biological mother. I was unable to have children because of a medical condition. My wife at the time (been divorced for almost 2 years) really wanted a child in the worst way. So she did. The story on how my daughter was conceived is very sketchy and murky to say the least. My ex has told me a few different versions over the years. I knew that since I was unable to father a child that this was the one of the only ways for US to have one together. So I decided to stay and raise our daughter together. My ex and I had many many heated discussions on when the best time would be to tell our daughter the truth. My ex did not want to hear any of it. Her master plan was to conceal the truth forever. No one needed to know, it was no one business. I on the other hand felt that our daughter needed to here it from us rather from someone else by accident; there is a select few people who do know that I am not the father. My ex would not budge. So we lived the lie to this day. Well after 7 plus years it was not working out. So I filed for divorce. I see my daughter regularly and we enjoy each others company and have a great time. She has not fully adjusted to the divorce but things are better. I have told many close friends, family and working associates about what I am going through. Each of them have said that "your daughter has the right to know the truth", 'no matter how much pain it will inflict or if she doesn't want to see you again". I get all of that. However; I know if I go to my ex and explain to her for the one thousand time that our daughter deserves the right to know the truth. My ex will not go along with it. So should I do it anyways and then tell my ex what I did and then let the chips fall where they may or should I go to her and try to convince her we should tell her together?
Help me ladies!!!