we are at a loss... someone please help!!!!!

JENNIFER - posted on 06/07/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I are having a big problem with our 7 year old little boy. He does have adhd bad and we have hi, on meds. He is all the time lieing. its like everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie and he knows its a lie its just he thinks that he wont get into trouble if he tells a lie rather than tell the truth and I know that is common in kids but even when he is caught red handed in the act he lies and continues to lie and we dont know what to do anymore. we put him in time out we take toys and privaliges away and still nothing works. Also he puts everything in his mouth and I know what you are thinking... its common but its not just the usual things like toys and stuff it is trash off the ground and floor it is everything and we cant break him of that either.. please help us we are all out of ideas and we are so stressed out about trying to work with him on this. anything you can give us would be a great help. thank you so much for your time.

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JENNIFER - posted on 06/07/2011

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thank you for you help. and I will certainly talk with my husband about all your suggestions. We took him to a psychotherapist when he was in kindergarten and he was diagnosed through alot of talking and observing that he infact does have adhd. We have him on concerta . again thank you very muh for taking the time to write your thoughts down for us to talk over

JuLeah - posted on 06/07/2011

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At age 7 kids still are in the magical thinking stage. If I think it, it is so. If I say it, it is so. He does not understand 'lie' as you understand 'lie'
It is not a moral issue to him and he is baffled as to why it is an issue for you.
He can't hear that it is wrong, if he doesn't really understand what it is.
Help him to understand.
1) never ask questions he can offer a lie for - so limit your questions to his name and what he wants for dinner.
2) if he is telling a lie, help him restate it. "I ate all my peas" (when they are sittting right there on his plate)
"You wish you had eaten all your peas. But we all see peas on your plate"
Punishment will NOT work, as it teaches a child only how to avoide punishment, which actually teaches a kid to lie.
As for putting everything in his mouth: Kids on the spectrum struggle with sensory issues and the mouth is a way to understand your world .... when he eats, does he stuff his mouth really full? Til his cheeks are puffed out? A lot of kids to that. The theroy is they can better feel the food in their mouth.
Have him chew gum ... keep something in his mouth to occupy his mouth, so leaves won't have room to go in there.
Educate him about what is safe to put in his mouth.
Again, don't punish - it won't teach him anything you want him to learn.
I don't know what meds you have him on, but some result in odd side effect, and the 'putting stuff in his mouth' might come from there - look into that.
Talk with an expert about this. I don't know who diganosed him or put him on meds, but if it was your family doctor, look again for a professional who can help you. Find someone who actually knows about these issues, someone not quick to label, not quick to prescribe meds (meds often create more truble then fix)
He is a frusterated as you, but lacks the language to tell you what is going on.

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