We hated each other from the first day of our marriage but stayed for 17 years

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

My husband and I got married 17years ago. I started disliking him gradually from the first night of our marriage because of his strange unusual behaviours, such as leaving me alone with my parents the night we got engaged, ignoring me, not being in interested in talking to me, being bored by me whenever I started to talk to him, we could never be friends because I couldn't get connected to him, except that for his abusive and ignoring behaviour, I started losing my self-confidence, I got extremely depressed and was scared of getting divorced. I always looked at sex as an obligation, because we could never make that emotional connection, so sex was complete torture to me. Today that I have an 8 year old son, I think I'm dying of inattention, inferiority complex, and many other physical and mental issues caused after my marriage. I'm still scared of getting divorced because I'm not sure if I should be trying ways to make this marriage work, or should have got divorced years before, is this marriage worth fixing? I'm sure my son is worth any sacrifice, my husband is the best friend and the best father in the world and the thought of getting divorce bugs me and makes me feel selfish. What would you do?
I'd appreciate any opinions.


View replies by

Ev - posted on 08/19/2013




My question is why did you go through with the marriage if from the start he was leaving you with his parents and taking off and there was no friendship either? It seems to me you knew what you were getting into with him since you married him. Or were you forced to marry him? I just do not see how with his unusual behaviors did not make you think twice. I am not trying to be mean here or anything but am trying to understand what you were thinking at the time.

[deleted account]

Do you see a mental health professional regularly? If so, you should discuss this with your mental health professional. If not, I recommend a psychologist over a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. No one here is going to be able to see enough of your story to help you decide what to do. Speak to a pro.

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