Pam - posted on 02/14/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )
The worst days of my life! Our youngest son 24 yrs had an addiction to prescription drugs for the last several years. He would take just enough to get by then he would binge every couple of weeks. So many nights I was on my knees praying for him and dealing with the consequences of addiction. On July 21, 2015 I took our daughter and two granddaughters to the state fair. My sister in law had asked that I come over to her house, so we left the fair but instead went home. I saw my husband and another one of our sons standing in the front yard. I hear my daughter say, "I wonder why Matt's here?" I simply said, "It's Cameron". But the words I heard next made me drop. Steve said, "Cameron hung himself in the back yard". All I could do was scream and groan over and over. "God you told me to trust you". My son will never come back. He will never kiss me on the cheek, tell me he loves me. He will never have a family, he will never grow old. There is so much more to Cameron he was our youngest, full of life, light to our family, and he was my heart. I wish I could say after Cameron's death we spent time trying to grieve and heal but 6 weeks later on Sept. 9 2016, I came home to my husband being home in the middle of the day. I walked in to see our Pastor there, thinking how nice it was he stopped in to check on us and Steve was home. A few minutes into a conversation our Pastor said, "Pam I am here today because we have had another death." I thought there was a family at church that lost a child and he wanted us to visit with them. Then his words struck like someone hit me in the gut. "Bradley took his life last night". Not our oldest son too. He had been out of prison for not a year but he had an addiction to alcohol. He had a fight with his girlfriend she had left and went next door. When she didn't come back to his request, he shot himself in the heart. There is so much more, our oldest daughter was killed by a drunk driver 12 years ago. I have read several other post and I have so many of the same feeling, emotions, sometimes I can't even breathe. I have to keep reminding myself that God said he would never leave us nor forsake us. I have to believe!