We moved 2 weeks ago and my kindergartener is adjusting. I need help with principal who is ready to label him due to 2 - 3 days of not following directions when he started

Emma - posted on 11/10/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am truly upset and hurt my son is being referred to a school team to discuss any intervention for behavior just a week and 1/2 after he began school. He has only been in school about 6 or 7 days and had 2 or 3 bad days after I moved him from the other school he attended for 2 months. He was unhappy I guess and did not want to follow directions. He melted down in gym the 2nd day because he was tagged and he had never played tag before and felt he had lost. The principal spoke to me and complained about his not eating, ( he disliked new cafeteria food) so now I make his lunch, his crying in gym when he was tagged, his refusal to work one morning, and his refusal to line up the day the aides blew whistle to line up after recess. All he wanted was to keep playing and not line up onto e 2nd day and again he was written up for all these things. The 4th day he had a good day and he did again today. Now that he is getting better I find out the principal has referred him to an intervention team in school. I am shocked he cannot understand my son has been through so much change ( home and school) and just needs time and support to get through it. Now I just want to ask for advice on how to decline a meeting they have scheduled for next week. I am a single mom working on my own and just won full custody of my child. The father was invited to the meeting and now I have to deal with him knowing too….which is even more upsetting because he has no decision making anyway but likes to intimidate and find out all he can and try to use it against me. Please moms…tell me how I can decline or delay this meeting. I really feel he just needs a month or 2 to get used to the new school, teachers, routines and class rules etc. He is not aggressive, or vulgar - he is very smart and sweet, but at times like to get his way and tries to test adults. He is an only child and I speak to him a lot and he listens and wants to do well. I just want to know if this is even fair because he has not been there a full 2 weeks yet already they are putting him on a list…..I can't believe it. I am still unpacking and this is the last thing I needed on top of all the stress I went through with the is move. Thanks for any help or suggestions.

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Jodi - posted on 11/11/2014

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I must admit, I don't like the term "intervention team", we call it a "wellbeing team" here. Just remember that it isn't just the move that is stressful for your son. Your child is seeing you very stressed, and has just been through a custody battle, so clearly there are issues between you and his father, both of whom he loves very much. However, if you aren't comfortable doing so, then talk to someone at the school about that.

With regard to dad getting an invitation, well, unless the court orders have been provided to the school and they prevent dad from having any legal say over anything, then they had a right to invite him too. Full custody doesn't always mean you are the only one to get a say over anything.

Emma - posted on 11/11/2014

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Thanks Jodi. I appreciate your input and would agree if i knew it is just a concerned team. However, I also know how quick some schools label children. If this is just a concerned team why is it this is called an intervention team? I don't recall the name but it has a name. They are not just calling me to meet with the teachers he knows. THis is done monthly and I would agree to it if my child would be given more time or would continue not following directions. It has stopped and that is why wonder why keep him there. A move is stressful but the stress does not last all year and I find it odd. They did not do that in the other school…they just met with me and suggested a few things to help him adjust. In just a few weeks he was a new student that loved his teacher and received certificates. The teacher told me he just needed time. I just don't want to attend until I feel he has been in school a month. I would happily go if they gave him that time to adjust.

Jodi - posted on 11/10/2014

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Ok, this is possibly not an "intervention" meeting, but rather, a team of people concerned about your son. Clearly he has had some behaviour issues that are the result of many stresses, including those in the home, and this meeting may be just a way that the school can gain some understanding of what may be triggering the behaviours and help in putting some supports in place if they are needed. It isn't a list. It is so that they can help as best they can.

I'm coming from the perspective of a teacher where we have meetings like this when kids have issues at home so that we can understand the triggers better.

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