We're Newlyweds & now my Husband doesnt want anymore kids!

RAYNEESHA - posted on 11/04/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am 22 and my husband is 23. We have a 2 year old daughter together. Before we got married he was all for having more kids. We got married and after that he has been on the fence one minute he is in the store looking at baby stuff saying "our next child will have this". Or picking out little girl names. Then the next week he is saying he doesn't know if he wants another one and he wants to get a puppy & he wants to try & travel. He knows how bad I want to have another child and I honestly feel like. Puppy is about the same work & effort as a baby. I feel like he's taunting me or something when he says baby names or looks at baby stuff. I never wanted a huge age gap in between my children it's already a 2 year, soon to be 3 year age gap Am I over-reacting? I feel if he doesn't want kids this is grounds for divorce.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/04/2016

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Wow...grounds for divorce? Are you always that dramatic?

Surely you didn't just marry the man to turn him into a sperm factory.

I agree with the other ladies. Enjoy being newlyweds. Enjoy the child that you have. Perhaps he will settle towards children as he gets a bit older, maybe not, but it definitely isn't grounds for divorce. Counseling would help.

Oh, and to say the work and effort with a puppy is comparable to the work and effort with a human being is laughable. They are nowhere near each other.

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Ev - posted on 11/04/2016

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I have to also agree with the ladies here. At 22 and 23 you have a lot of time to have more kids. My two are 7 years apart. What is so important for kids to be so close together. My sis and I are 3 years apart and we still grew up together. As for divorce because someone that is not sure about having kids? That shows me right there he may not be ready while you are showing some immaturity in saying it is grounds for divorce because he does not want kids right now.

Michelle - posted on 11/04/2016

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I agree with Jodi. You need to open the lines of communication between the 2 of you and that could help with counselling.
Also, I'm sure you didn't just marry him to have more children. If you did then that's a very selfish reason. Hopefully you married him to be your partner in life and that takes work and communication.
Threatening divorce just because at 23 he doesn't know if he wants a child just yet is very extreme. I have 6 years between my 2nd and 3rd and it's a good gap. I didn't have time to enjoy my 2nd one being a baby as I only had 2.5 years between the older ones.
You are both still so young, I would enjoy the child you have together and being newlyweds first. Waiting a couple of years to have another child would probably be good for your relationship.

Jodi - posted on 11/04/2016

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Counselling, maybe? Grounds for couples counselling, maybe? Perhaps divorce shouldn't be your instant "go to". To suggest "grounds for divorce" is extreme - did you marry him for "him" or did you marry him for the children he would have with you. Ask yourself that question.

To be fair, though, you are both very young. An age gap with kids doesn't have to be an issue, and actually, sometimes it's nice. I have nearly 8 years between my two and now that the oldest is an adult and out of home, I'm kind of thankful I have my youngest still home for a while. It's preparing me for the empty nest.

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