Felicia Ann - posted on 01/10/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
For the longest time my daughter's father thought he had complete control over everything that I did with my life, as well as our daughter. He made me feel so low about myself and not to mention his family didn't help bashing me to everyone they knew. Even his wife to be, thought I was a bad person since him and I got divorced. I've learned to stand up for myself since I lacked big time in that department. I use to people, such as, my daughter's father and his new wife to be walk all over me. I got tired of all the arguing, petty complaints, backlashing, so I let them have their way every time. Well, that soon changed when both of those two send me a rude message telling me that I should do this or do that. I stood my ground and told them their petty complaints are their way of making me feel like I have no opinion in anything they felt was wrong or right. I gradually spoke my mind often to them. Our petty complaints with affect MY daughter is some way, and she doesn't deserve that at all. She deserves to see the people who love her get along, no matter if were friends or not. Sure being friends would be easier, but it doesn't always work that way. I do know that when my daughter hears something about me, she won't tell me but I know where she heard it from, and I believe when both parents bash each other its basically saying that about your child too. I confronted Ava's about that topic too, but he denies ever bashing me in front of her. I know better, and much smarter than what others give me credit for. This battle I've gone has lasted for almost 4 years. From the pointless court hearings, and meet ups nothing was ever resolved until I took a stand. I derserve to be respected, and Ava's needs to remember that I'm not enemy and neither is he. Things wouldn't be bad if others would just learn to let us parent our daughter. He didn't agree because he felt his new wife to be, could have a say. I told him if he feels that way then the man I'm finally dating after telling myself I derserve to be happy as well, should be able to voice his opinion. Sadly, Ava's dad didn't agree, so I held my ground about it. What's good for you, is good for me, no man is gonna tell me that I can't do something just because he's jealous. If our marriage meant so much, should've work harder to save it. I'm not bashing my daughter's father or anything, but this is how I saw the situation and I still see it that way. He wants total control over me, and we will be divorced for a year soon, and he's engaged, getting married this year. The last thing he should do is tell me I can't be happy or introduce a man who plans on staying in my life. I never made a big deal when he introduced his lady to our daughter. In fact, I was all for it, because I looked at is another woman for our daughter to love an trust. I will admit I didn't like his new lady right because I felt replaced as Ava's mother. It took 6 months of hard convincing that my daughter would always know I was her "real" mommy. Now I have a great relationship with my ex's wife to be, sure time to time we don't see eye to eye, but no one is perfect. The best thing I've ever done is not to let anyone tell me that I'm a bad mother when I've been by daughter's side since birth and is the present. Her father chose to work so much to where he barely saw her, and got with his new lady. I always told him he could see her, keeping Ava from him wasn't an option for me. For the women out there who don't think they can overcome anything, I'm telling you, you can. It's a tough road, but all it takes is believing in yourself. I know It took 6 months last year for me to figure I was stronger than I gave myself credit. Women need to stick together, so if anyone ever has questions about this topic of mine, I'll gladly answer questions. I've helped many women overcome so many things with my success. I didn't put everything in this topic since it would take forever to type. Have a great day all you wonderful mothers on here.