Paulina - posted on 01/28/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )
My son does not come to see me hardly ever. I read a lot of these readings and I understand their pain I to do not have a good solid warm, loving and caring relationship with my kids like I would want. However, I have noticed something and I am not going to follow their behavior and this is it A lot of the Mothers say, "Oh, my Daughter won't talk to me etc. this might be true - but, is there anything they could possibly be doing to push them away. Because, I see that with myself, I've been hurt in some real bad ways by my Mother - oh, she didn't intentionally want to hurt me but, she is a adult child of an alcoholic father. ACA avoid conflict they do not like conflict ..and pretty much that's pretty normal but, they don't confront ever so, us kids growing up in our family of origin did what ever we wanted and she never grounded us ...I was a wild teenager...drugs, promiscuity, shop lifting the whole bit. Oh, I don't do any of those things now, I learned to stop on my own because, they were not going to help me. There was no talking about any of this stuff in my family of origin, nothing about men, nothing about drugs, smoking, pregnancy, stealing just you shouldn't be doing that. I think I heard that with the shop lifting....However, I needed some real direction, encouragement, structure I ditched school often, oh, I buckled down in my senior year and raised my grades from D's to B's. It didn't make any difference they never said anything complimentary. When I got my AA I didn't even go to the graduation because, I thought, big deal...now what? My younger sister killed herself on drugs, she was married at 16 and they did drugs together, then he died in a motorcycle accident and her drug use continued. So, I married a man who was a sex addict he wanted to swing all the time. Oh, I was ripe for that kind of relationship because, of my promiscuity earlier in high school I didn't expect anything more from those guys, my parents didn't seem to think in agreement because, it wasn't till quite sometime went by before my Dad confronted me and we got in this physical fight and he called me a slult. That was are talk. So, this guy I married he was 12 years older than me I was 19 and had 2 kids with him. Well, he used me to get other women. He said if you practice sexually a lot your sex will get better because, after I had kids it wasn't the same. Maybe, I realized red flags w/ him and didn't know what to do about it. At that time no one talked about sex addiction or, knew about it. So, I also ended up doing dancing for money,which, my husband wanted me to do to make money, he was the dance manager...at bachelor parties. I had a breakdown after 13 years an abortion oh, it was my ex's but, I could not take it anymore and left. Parents did not support me after, make a long story short - my kids were stripped from me only this time it was not clothes it was my kids by the very family that was suppose to support me. I put them there to get out of this bad neighborhood move out but, ex still wanted to swing and I said forget it ...I've had enough of this. But, then I lost my kids at his sisters and my Mother. I was of course, heart broken with no one, extreme insomnia, headaches....went on medication, therapy. I needed treatment for post traumatic stress syndrome never got it. After sister killed herself, got involved w/ an alcoholic he was abusive left him after 7 years, Went to school for library Technical Assistant didn't do anything w/ it. Can't hold a job on disibillity, meds, healthy though, but can''t have relationships w/ no one to hurt I hurt back get critical. Not extremely just enough where I drive people away. Kids ignore me...think I'm mean or weird. I don't think or know if I'll ever get better. Paulina I have a dog and 3 cats they keep me company to a certain extent. What do you think I need to do Yes, I am spiritual.