Jason - posted on 05/10/2016 ( 23 moms have responded )
I am a SAHD and quite frankly I am about sick of it all. No one cares about what I do unless it doesn't get done. I homeschool, manage a storefront, fell and cut firewood, fix the cars ie a total rebuild yesterday for the civic, clean cook every meal FROM SCRATCH and no one gives a PHUCK! Also I'm not exactly George effing Clooney, but I'm pretty decent looking, plus I doubt George can rebuild a frigging engine. Oh right I forgot he is pretty and has a lot of money, silly stupid me thinking that being a GD man matters anymore.
Well, I probably just scared everyone away. I am sorry its just that I do everything a SAHM would do and I still have to do all the things a man does. We live in an old cabin way out in the woods. We are dirt poor, and yes that is possible these days, having a computer does not mean I am well off. This place has no heat and must be kept supplied with firewood a SHIT LOAD of it. My body is breaking down. I am waiting on three surgeries meanwhile I cannot follow my doctors instructions and I keep hurting my self over and over again. Rebuilding the car in one day almost killed me. Does anyone care? Nooooop.
Please forgive my anger, I am really just very sad and tired and I really do want to die. I finally worked up the balls to kill myself awhile back and then realized I just can't. I forfeit the right to do that as soon as I had kids.
But damn, how does one do this? I am not an eternal wellspring of energy. My body is failing. How the hell do I get this under control?
I can't keep just eating painkillers while I destroy myself, especially for a bunch of ungrateful asshats...