Well I'm going thru a divorce and custody battle for my two sons who are 4and 3 yrs old. How do I explain to them why their dad and me are not living together? Also I don't talk bad about their father to them but the times that my sons come back from being with their dad, they start saying that I'm mean to their dad. How do I go about this?


Rachel - posted on 10/31/2012




Always make sure that they know it isn't their fault. Ensure they know that both your and their father love them very much and nothing can change that. You can say that you and their father are just choosing different paths in life, but those paths will always include them (the children). Tell them sometimes people grow apart.

I know how much it sucks to have an ex try to tear you down to others (though your own children must be the most hurtful way to do it!), but try to be the bigger person. If you can still tolerate his presence, try to have a sit down with him (and possibly a mediator) and express that regardless of the divorce and whatever happens between the two of you, you do not want your children exposed to that bitterness. You do not want slander thrown around about each other. If it gets very bad, I would express - in court - that your children are bringing home undesirable words/attitudes when they come back from seeing their father. This could play a small role in the decision as to custody/visitation. Hope this helps!

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