Well You Are A New Mother

Jennifer - posted on 04/18/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My babysitter is 74. She raised 4 children of her own and thinks that because they didn't die, that she is the authority on how to raise children. She finds every opportunity to debate the things I do and when I try to back it up with facts or the pediatrician's instructions, she says I know you are a new mother, but you cannot do everything by the book. I most certainly do not do EVERYTHING by the book but I listen when the doctor tells me things about feeding because I do not want my baby to have the same struggles with weight that I have had throughout my life.
I tried to tell her that there have beeen studies performed since she raised her kids because one day she was telling me she slept her babies on their tummies. My baby sleeps on his tummy now, but for the first two months the doctor told me to sleep him on his back. Then at his 2 month appointment, she saw how good his neck strength was and ok'd us sleeping him on his tummy. I told her about people I know having babies that died from SIDS but that is nonsense to her.

She mentioned giving her kids sugar water because she doesn't like the taste of water. I said I LOVE water! Please do not add sugar to my baby's water. He will have enough opportunities to fill up on sugary sweets later on in life. Then she also mentioned putting sugar on the tongue for hiccups. I asked her to please not put sugar on my son's tongue. I just have to trust that she is not doing these things becasue I am a working Mom so I cannot see what she is doing when I am not there.

I also have read in a bunch of places and have been told by the doctor that babies should not have more than 32 oz of formula in a 24 hour period and that juice is really not the best thing for a baby (sugar) and not to introduce it if you don't have to. I agree with that totally. She feels the opposite on EVERYTHING! Every time I tell her ANYTHING, she makes the comment about me being a new mother. It's sooo annoying. He is 6 months old so technically I am not a new mother anymore. I am NOT a hover parent. I know plenty of people who are, but I am just not, so I get really pissed when she says these things. Of course I do not say anything to her except reinforce whatever instruction I had given, but it makes me feel like she is probably undermining everthing I do when I walk out the door. She is a dear friend and offered to babysit and we only pay her $125 a week for 20 hours. Hubby sleeps while she watches him in the next room, then brings her home so it has been very convenient, and I am glad not to have him in daycare because he has only had a cold twice since birth. If he were in daycare it would probably be much worse. .

She loves my son and I know she has his best interest at heart, she is just old and set in her ways. I also see the look on his face when I hand him over to her in the morning. He obviously loves her and enjoys being with her too. I just wish she didn't debate everything I say. Also I know as he gets bigger it will be harder for her to care for him. I have already had the conversation with her and she said she will let us know when she no longer feels like she can handle him. We shall see, but in the meantime, I try to just ignore the new mother comments because it makes me mental. I'm sure most of you have gone through this. How did you handle it?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/18/2014

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OR you can sit down and talk with her. Tell her times have changed. What used to be the norm when she was raising her kids is no longer acceptable for various reasons.

Don't take such damn offense to being a new mom. You will be for a while. Every new mom that I know (including myself) goes through this. Your situation is not unique, and you are not alone. Everyone will have an opinion on every little thing you do. You can either nod and do things your way, or say "thanks for the advice. But my doctor told me to do it this way so I am gonna listen to her."

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/18/2014

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Well, don't take this personally, but you are a new mom.

Secondly, if you are not happy with her, find a new sitter. Regardless of how convenient it is, and how much of a friend she is to you, you need to find someone that will do what you ask.

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