Wetting the Bed - Older Children

Leslie - posted on 08/05/2009 ( 45 moms have responded )

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My 7 yr old is still wetting the bed. We have tried fluid limitation and elimination, monitors that alert for wetness, and pull-ups for years. Nothing seems to be working. She says that she doesn't realize it is happening till it happens. I want to help her with this. Anyone have any answers or solutions that might help her?

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Wendy - posted on 02/06/2011

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My 8yr old finally just stopped. I also used everything and nothing worked so it was pull ups. One night I made her put her underwear under the pull ups and she was dry in the morning. I did this for a week. She had one accident in a 4 week span now. I feel maybe she was getting lazy with the pull ups. She was very concerned about wetting the underwear.

Michélle - posted on 08/05/2009

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Try deworming her, there is a worm that only attacks the bladder!

Lynne - posted on 08/16/2009

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I am a 50 yr old grandmother of 3 now but I wanted to share my story. I wet the bed consistantly until I was 22 yrs old! How embarrassing. Finally a doctor figured out that I was allergic to milk. No, not lactose intolerent....allergic. It seems somethiong in cows milk makes me fall into such a deep sleep I cannot wake up on my own. When I spoke to my mother about it she said " Oh yes, when you were an infant I had to feed you special goats milk" I guess no one ever put 2 and 2 together as I was growing up.

Susie - posted on 08/11/2009

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Bedwetting is a sleep disorder called enuresis. My son wet the bed until he was eight years old. I contacted an enuresis treatment center (which I found online). The specialist said that the problem is caused by a failure to go through normal sleep cycles. Normally people go through several stages of sleep--including the dream stage. The deepest level of sleep usually lasts for a little while and then we go through all the stages again ascending until we are just lightly sleeping (that's when we wake up to go to the bathroom or fluff our pillow or whatever). What happens with enuretics is that they descend to the deepest level of sleep and stay there. The bedwetting is just one of the symptoms. Since they don't go through as many dream cycles as normal sleepers their performance at school and emotional control (my son had an awful temper) can be affected as well. Treatment included a bedwetting alarm. We were to follow specific instructions: our son had to sleep with no bottoms on during the treatment. We had to keep a diary listing the number of times he got up in the night and what time it was. We had to write down how big the spot was. When the alarm went off he was responsible to get up, wet his face (so that he was fully awake), change the pillowcase on the mat, and then reset the alarm and go back to bed (supervised by a parent, of course). The purpose was to train his body to fully wake up from his deep sleep. Once he was trained to do that he was able to do it on his own--after just a few months. It was wonderful because he went to camp for the first time when he was just about to turn nine and he didn't have to use pull-ups and he didn't have any accidents! We paid around seven hundred dollars for the treatment but it was sooooo worth it!

Suzanne - posted on 08/09/2009

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I have found my son is sensitive to some additives and preservatives, the bread preservative 282 and the yellow colour 102 among other effects causes him to wet his bed.

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Cammie - posted on 08/18/2009

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I also was a bedwetter until probably 7 or later. I know it isn't easy but patience and time are the only answers I have. To this day I can remember the shame that I felt because I wet the bed. I am 57 years old, and I eventually grew out of it.

Jodi - posted on 08/17/2009

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I would have to agree with talking to the pediatrician about DDAVP. It is great and works for my son. He has been taking this drug for 4 years. He is 12 now, he is Autistic and he wets the bed without it.

Roxanne - posted on 08/14/2009

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My family had a history of bed wetters and I was no exception. My daughter is now 5 so I'm not really concerned but for me - what worked was the bedwetting alarm. I drank sugary drinks just before bed every night to ensure I would pee and then Mom would wake me up (I would never hear the alarm), wrap me in wet towels to wake me up and then put me on the pot. I don't know how long it took but, thanks yet again to my mother, it was successful and there was really not much drama other than my younger sisters who weren't very impressed (they shared the same room and were woken every night).

One thing that I think is the best thing about being a bedwetter like I was - I sleep soundly and I feel this has helped me to be a very healthy and well rested individual. It seems like there are many causes for bedwetting - in my case it was just being a sound sleeper and it is truely a blessing. After my training I wake to use the bathroom but can sleep through anything other than a crying baby or a telephone (slept through a fire alarm though - lol).

Good luck to all of you dealing with this. I'm happy to have this resource in case it does end up being an issue for my daughter.

[deleted account]

My 10 year old still has the odd accident but it took forever it seemed to get here. We went to hospital to train his bladder. It sounds silly but it really works. Training the bladder along with a slow releasing oral tablet we go there. See your doctor, don't worry there is light at the end of the tunnel. x

Julie - posted on 08/13/2009

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Hi Leslie,

One of my kids had the same problem. Our pediatrician at the time actually gave us a prescription for our son. I don't remember what it was called. It was a little white tablet taken before bed and like magic, the bed-wetting stopped! He took it for about a year and then didn't need it anymore and hasn't had any problems since. Best of luck!

Susan - posted on 08/13/2009

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My son wet the bed and is now ten years old ... He is finally outgrowing it! He will be 11 next week!

... Same thing ... he just sleeps really sound!

Another thing that has helped my son is no sugar or limited High sugar foods and drinks! If we have coolaid or soda in the refridgerator when he gets up in the morning it will be gone in an hour to an hour and a hlf! If he has Ice Cream or soda it is in the afternoon!

and does not get second helpings on milk or anything else at the dinnner meal!



I think now that he sees it is working also He can be more responsible for himself and more confident!

Liz - posted on 08/13/2009

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THat is EXACTLY what we do. It has worked for us. our bed time is also 8 for the kids. we also bought a bed cover from matress giant that help to make the room not so peepeeish



Quoting Michele:

My youngest daughter wet the bed until she was almost 7. What eventually worked for me was getting her up a few hours after she went to bed and taking her to the bathroom. She went to bed at 8 and we woke her up at 11, plus having nothing to drink after 7pm. It took a few months of doing this and she still has the occasional accident if she drinks to much at night or to close to bed time, but most nights she sleeps soundly and stays dry!





 

Donna - posted on 08/13/2009

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I totally agree with Carianne. I was a bed wetter until I was about 10 & it was something that I could not control. It bothered me alot to wake up in a wet bed & if my parents fussed at me I would have felt even worse. I also slept in a full sized bed with my sister who is 4 years older than me & she would usually get wet too. How bad do you think I felt to do that to her? Try to be sympathetic with your child even though I know it gets very frustrating. I liked the idea of the bed pads too, that way the sheets can be left on the bed & the clothes can be changed quickly. Good luck, I know that she will eventually grow out of it . . . I did! :)

Laverne - posted on 08/13/2009

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i had da same problem, with my now 11 yrs old, and it was getting on my last nerve. what i did was, nothing to drink after 8;00p.m. and when it was time to go to bed i woke him up every 3 hrs to go to the bathroom, i know it sounds crazy of waking your child up in the middle of the night but i had to, and until this day and counting no more wet ones...so you can see if that would work for you..

CHASTITY - posted on 08/12/2009

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HAVE HER GO TO THE BATHROOM BEFORE SHE GOES TO BED.ALSO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT I KNOW THIS MIGHT GET TIREDRING BUT GET HER UP THROUGH THE NIGHT TO GO PEE PEE AND I GUARANTEED SHE WILL NOT WET THE BED.I DO THIS WITH MY 3 YR OLD ALL THE TIME IT WORKS.I ALSO SAT A TIME I GET HER UP SHE GOES TO BED AT 10PM I GET HER UP AT 2AM 6AM OR 7AM AND FROM THERE SHE'S GOOD TO GO!

Samantha - posted on 08/12/2009

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Pee pee happens. There could be a million and one reasons why she still does it. Could be her getting back at you, could be a small bladder, could be too much liquid before bed, etc. First, you should schedule an appt with your pediatrician and rule out any medical stuff. When I was a youngster, I actually had problems with a screwed up urethra (I couldn't hold myself for longer than a few minutes or else I'd have an accident). It was fixed. Beyond that, just be patient, kids pee the bed sometimes into their pre-teen years. That's why they sell 'big kid' pants. Good luck!

Cindy - posted on 08/12/2009

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Hi, My daughther is 11 and still wets the bed on occassion. I agree with throwing out the pull ups, they are nothing but glorified diapers and only keep the bedding dry (convenient for the parent) not the child. Waking your child before going to bed only puts their body on your schedule, not the childs. My daughther and I visited a urologist and he suggested the alarm and not waking her before I go to bed. Although the alarm woke everyone but her, she eventually had an ultrasound to rule out issues we couldn't see. We put it down to genetics (two family members having the same thing when they were younger) and the fact that she is a very sound sleeper. I, as a last resort, ended up putting her on DDAVP so she could go to camp and sleepovers without stressing herself out. DDAVP slows the production of urine through the night which for her is a godsend. She has since been dry for weeks on end but still has a wet night now and then. I hope this helps.

Margie - posted on 08/12/2009

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Is your child drinking lots of water and/or have they lost weight? My daughter wet her bed and was loosing weight. She was contstanly drinking water, You might want to get them check for juvinal diabetes. My daughter wet her bed until she was 17. Lots of doctors said she would grow out of it. But she got very sick and we took her to the ped. and they ran glucose test, Her sugar level was at almost 400. I also have a nephew that at the age of 4 lost a tremendous loss of weight an always wet the bed not matter what my sister did for him. At the age of 5 he was also diagnosed with juvinal diabetes. I know that this is not encourageing, but it is better to find out know than later. Good Luck.

[deleted account]

I understand the frustration. She may be a very deep sleeper. If you like many adults go to bed later than your child you can wake her up before you hit the sack and have her go to the bathroom. This may help in a couple of ways, she will get used to getting up at a certain time of night to take care of business and just eliminating even a little bit might help her get through the night. (Of couse you want to limit fluids to minimal water after 7pm.) Good luck.
PS, I wonder if setting an alarm would help too?

Monifa - posted on 08/12/2009

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What one of the other mom's said works for my daughter. I wake her up a few hours after bedtime and let her use the potty. Depending on how much or what she drinks, sometimes I wake her up twice. She is not allowed anything to drink about 2 hours prior to bed time. Once she gets used to the idea of waking up, she will do it on her own. At least that's how it happened with my older daughter.

[deleted account]

My son is 7 almost 8, and my daughter is 9. Both of them still wet the bed. My daughter only occasionally - and almost always when something has upset her - it's pretty much like clockwork - she gets upset before bed, or something 'big' has happened that day to upset her and guaranteed she will pee. My son wets pretty much every night - but he also has encopresis which led to pressure on his bladder from his bowel so he couldn't 'hold' as much.



Also, some children's bladders do not development 'fast' enough for their bodies and the bedwetting is not due to anything but their own biology.



Children don't set out to wet their beds - it's embarrassing for them, and frustrating. I make it as much of a non-issue as possible to try to help them - my daughter often will help me clean hers afterwards now because she knows it not only helps me, but that it isn't her fault and there is no pressure.



Hope that made sense - I have a horrible headache, and it's a bit hard to focus my thoughts:P



Good luck!

Catherine - posted on 08/12/2009

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Cinnamon helps – give you daughter a slice of cinnamon toast before going to bed. There is something in the spice which helps - and it did work for my nephew. I wish I had known about this when my children we younger.

Jennifer - posted on 08/12/2009

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A friend of mine wet the bed for years, the alarm thing didn't work for him. I wasn't a parent then so this advice may not help. He got a waterbed to sleep in and after that he never wet the bed again. It may be some kind of freak thing but that's what worked for him.

Sue - posted on 08/12/2009

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We have been working on this all summer with our son on the bedwetting issue, the doctor recommneded the bedwetting store.com to purchase the bedwetting alarm. Since, he did not care for this after two weeks of being "shook" out of bed, we have been waking him up 3 hours after he goes to sleep and he is dry in the morning unless he has too much liquid the night before. We are now dry 90% of the time.

Angie - posted on 08/12/2009

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Hi, dont let her drink anything past 7 o'clock at night, if needed sleep walk her to the tiolets when you go to bed later on, she wont really wake up but will need the extra toileting, check she is happy at school, my daughter just had a few accicents, it was because she was being bullied at school for a couple of weeks, dont let her think its bad or her fault, always give her good encouragement if she goes without doing it. Cheers, hope this helps.

Amar - posted on 08/12/2009

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My son is 4. I could never use pull ups on him because he would wee so much they would leak! i used the pampers nappies and when he stopped weeing every night i changed it to disposable bed mats. It took a good 3/4 months of him having accident and me taking him toliet in the middle of the night, but he has finally stopped.
I don't give him milk or drinks in excess after 7pm, and i make sure he goes toilet before he sleeps. He gets up every night around 2am and goes to the toilet himself. He still has accidents every few week, but mostly if he's too tied to get up and go toilet. If we've been out and he's had a late night i know he won't get up so i put a nappy on him to save the mess in the morning!. I think every child is different, my son was too lazy to go toilet in the night but now ive made it a habit for him to do and he finds it easier to follow.

Hilary - posted on 08/12/2009

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Our 6 yo son wets the bed every night. He has had a few dry nights in his life although was out of day nappies very soon after his 2nd bday. He seldom asks for anything to drink after supper @ 6pm and goes to bed at 8pm. If he does ask for something we give him a little water which satisfies him. He sleeps very deeply and we can take him to the toilet 3-4 times during the night but still find him wet at random points in the night. 6 weeks ago we started him on a homeopathic remedy to help strenthen his bladder (by Feel Good Health). It hasn't improved his problem yet but it may help some of you. We would like him to go for x-rays to check his bladder size. Last week he started some eurythmy therapy which his school recommended. Thanks for all the advice, ladies, I have got some new ideas now and also a lot of encouragement as we don't know anyone else who has this problem so sometimes we get very fustrated and we wonder WHY he cannot just wake up.

Sharon - posted on 08/11/2009

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Quoting Betsey:

Hi there. My son (almost 13) wet the bed until he was almost 11 years old. The doctor told us that somewhere in his brain the connection was missing that alerted him it was time to go to the bathroom. This happened both when he was awake but eventually just became a nighttime thing. So, we restricted fluids two hours before his bedtime and had him set an alarm for midnight so he could get up and go to the bathroom. After a few months, we no longer needed the alarm and he can now drink up until bedtime. Occasionally, I'll hear him wake up on his own to visit the bathroom. If you try the above method and you see no results after a few months, I would suggest you visit your pediatrician. In older children (not sure if age 7 would qualify) sometimes a life change can result in bedwetting and (of course I hate to mention it) child molestation in boys can as well. Good luck.


It's good that you mentioned molestation. God forbid this is the case, but I have read a lot of literature that says that bedwetting can be a symptom of molestation in boys and girls. I used to attend a women's abuse recovery group, and a lot of the women who had been sexually abused as children had bedwetting issues, and were shamed for it. Of course, bedwetting does not always equal molestion has occurred, just one of the many signs to look for. Thank you Betsey for making us aware of this!

[deleted account]

Hi there. My son (almost 13) wet the bed until he was almost 11 years old. The doctor told us that somewhere in his brain the connection was missing that alerted him it was time to go to the bathroom. This happened both when he was awake but eventually just became a nighttime thing. So, we restricted fluids two hours before his bedtime and had him set an alarm for midnight so he could get up and go to the bathroom. After a few months, we no longer needed the alarm and he can now drink up until bedtime. Occasionally, I'll hear him wake up on his own to visit the bathroom. If you try the above method and you see no results after a few months, I would suggest you visit your pediatrician. In older children (not sure if age 7 would qualify) sometimes a life change can result in bedwetting and (of course I hate to mention it) child molestation in boys can as well. Good luck.

Sharon - posted on 08/11/2009

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Bedwetting alarm worked for us! I bought a "kit" online that included a book (never read it), 2 pads to lay on to protect the bed, and an alarm that attached to her undies with a connecting wire that we pinned close to her ear. The alarm vibrated, made a LOUD noise (loud enough to wake me up!) and blinking lights. My 7 year old wet the bed nearly EVERY night. I tried everything (no sugary drinks, pee before bedtime, wake her up in the middle of the night, everything I read above), but this was the only thing that worked. Worked within a few days, never had an accident since! Try the no cost suggestions above (especially NO SHAMING) before you fork out the $120 + for these alarm kits.

Carianne - posted on 08/09/2009

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Bed wetting is not something your child wants to do... I'm sure she would wake up and go if she could. I have firsthand experience with this situation, and I can tell you that nothing worked for me until I grew out of it. My advice would be to not pressure your child and not make her feel like she's doing something wrong, because chances are she feels worse about it than you do.

Jennifer - posted on 08/09/2009

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My son is 10 years old and is still wetting the bed. We also have tried everything. His doctor put him on DDAVP. I was a little nervous with starting him on a med for this but he has been getting so embarsed about etc. that he actually went in and said to the doctor look I want something to stop this I've tried everything. It was explained to me as a nasal spray that helps with a hormone that the child lacks. He did really well at first and then started having nights were he would wet again, but over all it has been the only thing that helps even a little bit. Even 4 dry nights out of 7 are ok with me. Seriously I would consider looking into this. The main thing to remember is it is not her fault and she really doesn't realize it is happening until it does. Good luck.

Jodi - posted on 08/08/2009

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Karla, throwing out the pull ups will only work with a child who is physically ready to train. Been there done that and spent months doing exactly what you suggest and it didn't work. You are assuming that these kids are ready, when not all of them are. Thats great that it worked for your son, he was evidently ready. It doesn't work for everyone. No-one is teaching these kids to be ashamed. Some kids, no matter what you do as a parent, just do not have the physical maturity needed to toilet train at night until much older.

User - posted on 08/08/2009

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Stop waisting your money on pull ups!!! Your kids will never learn to wake up if they are used to peeing and sleeping at the same time. Also you are teaching your kid to be ashamed and it isnt something to be ashamed of!!
He used to wear Pullups until he told me he didnt want to be a "baby" anymore. Done. We talked about it. It took about 3 months of me getting him up 2 times a night before he learned to get up himself. All SUGARY DRINKS are done after dinner. Only water for the rest of the night and small amounts and hour before bed time. Sugary drinks... Juice, gatorade, koolaide soda whatever will just cause your child to CRASH in her sleep and not recongize the need to use the bathroom. Remember it tooks months to potty train, it will take months to sleep train as well. SPEND THE MONEY, Buy the bed liner pads. no plastic sheets. Liner pads! When you have an accident encourage her to figure out the why behind it. Was she extra tired? Good Dream? Bad Dream? The more you talk the more she will tune in and tell you what she needs to figure this out. THROW OUT THE PULL UPS!!!!!

Kelley - posted on 08/08/2009

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I have a 5 yr old doing the same thing. Everything I read says not to panic. If it is not limiting her social life (sleep overs) then you can let her grow out of it. 1 in 6 kids at this age still have night time accidents. At age 12 1 in 10 are still bed wetting. This can be genetic, so if mom or dad wet into later years that can be an indicator of things to come. If it is botherering her, you can try the "alarms" They are pads that are placed under the child and when they get wet an alarm goes off that wakes the child. These seems to have a 40% chance of "curing" the child.
Hope this helps, Good luck!
Btw, whatever you do I hope you don't shame her as this is not her fault... :-)

Helen - posted on 08/07/2009

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Also make sure that she is not getting cold at night. I know it sounds silly but when I was a child I wet the bed and the only time I did it was when I would get cold. I did stop after awhile but it was a matter of making sure I was warm enough that helped things move along faster.

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2009

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Lisa, I believe the medicine does not cure the problem, simply stops the unrination at night. Once they come off the medicine, they will be wetting the bed again unless they have sufficiently matured to grow out of it. It also has potential side effects, as does any medication. This is why we have not bothered.

Lisa - posted on 08/07/2009

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There is a med called DDAVP however it is recommended that the child be 9 years old before taking it. Talk to your pediatrician about it. Remember they do not want to wet the bed and need your support and patience to help them deal with it

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2009

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Leslie, my step son is 10 and still wets the bed. We have tried all of the same things with him. We've come to the decision it is all going to come down to pull ups and patience. We know he will eventually stop. My husband was also a bedwetter and was 10 or 11 when he stopped. These things can be genetic, have there been other bedwetters in the family?



We've decided not to stress over it. We decided to just use pull ups because having to change the sheets once or twice a night was not practical and became stressful. Now that we've just decided to ride it out, it is so much less stressful. He'll get there eventually :)

Janine - posted on 08/07/2009

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i have a similar problem with my 6 yr old.... sometimes she goes 2 weeks without wetting the bed but then she'll wet every night. some people have suggested to me that she either sleeps too heavily or she worries about things in her sleep??????

Deana - posted on 08/05/2009

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have you had them checked for a small blatter? that can cause them to wet the bed for along time. and if that is the case she truly may not realize that it is happening. my little brother didnt stop wetting the bed until he was 10 due to a blatter smaller than it should have been. try cuttin out fluids AND solids about 2 hours before bedtime. if she is thirsty give her a small amout of water.

Kris - posted on 08/05/2009

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both my boys wet the bed until about 10 and 12yrs. old. Used pull-ups for awhile and then on my 12 yr. old,now 18, I started with the monitor. He was and still is a sound sleeper. the monitor worked after a few weeks. Now when he gets up in the A.M. he pees forever. my 10yr. old, now 14, was just lazy. Be Patient. It may be a while before she can hold it or feel when she needs to go at night. Use pull-ups and every-once-in-awhile try the monitor for a week or so. GOOD LUCK, don't get mad at her, try a DRY NIGHT CHART, ask if any family members had the same problem.

Kristen - posted on 08/05/2009

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My 6 year old wets the bed too and we have tried every treatment and test we can. Eventually it just boils down to us as parents. Obviously we didn't have kids because they are conveniant. the best thing I have found is to set my alarm for around 1230 0100. Get up and take him to the bathroom. Sometimes I get up 2 or 3 times depending on how much he had to drink. I have walked into peoples houses that have bed wetting kids and they wreak of urine. I would die of embarrassment if this happened in my home and so I am ok with losing a little bit of sleep.

Fluid limitation or elimination is a form of abuse as far as I am concerned. We should not deny them water ever... Bed wetting is a natural process and many times it is simply because their little bladders just haven't grown enough to hold it all during the night. For most of us it is just another step in getting them ready to stand on their own two feet... For others it is seen as a constant battle. Learning to accept our children for who they are is the first step. Ie, I understand and accept that my child wets the bed. Now how can I help him/her accept who they are and teach them how to cope with it. Always remember that it might be a hassle for you but think how they feel... How would you feel if every morning you woke up you were covered in urine from your body doing something you can't control? And for some reason you keep upsetting your parents over something you can't control... In some cases children are so intent on trying to please their parents they actually view sleep as the enemy and will stay awake... And then you have a hole new problem on your hands...

Michele - posted on 08/05/2009

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My youngest daughter wet the bed until she was almost 7. What eventually worked for me was getting her up a few hours after she went to bed and taking her to the bathroom. She went to bed at 8 and we woke her up at 11, plus having nothing to drink after 7pm. It took a few months of doing this and she still has the occasional accident if she drinks to much at night or to close to bed time, but most nights she sleeps soundly and stays dry!

Carson - posted on 08/05/2009

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My 5 year boy does the same .I feel like the bed wetting will never stop. We have had autrosounds done on his bladder/kidneys came back fine.. No clue would love to hear other solutions to this....

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