what age should i have my babies ears pierced?

Kellyanne - posted on 05/27/2012 ( 79 moms have responded )

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I am thinkingh of getting my childrens ears pierced they are aged 2 and 3, and both girls

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Jodi - posted on 05/27/2012

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When they are old enough to be able to truly understand what they are doing and request it themselves.

Krista - posted on 05/29/2012

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The whole let them choose thing when they are old enough...C'mon! You live in the dark ages? It's only getting their ears pierced...they can always choose later not to wear earrings if they don't want them and let their ears close up.

Karen, that was rather rude. Those of us who prefer to wait until the child asks are not in the dark ages. We have our reasons, and they are valid ones.

Besides, ear piercings do not always close up. Yes, the holes are tiny, but they are still there.

And while the crying may have only been for 5 minutes, I prefer to not make my child cry for ANY length of time solely for purposes of vanity. If I think piercings look cute, then I am more than welcome to have my own body pierced. But I don't understand the mindset that says, "I think piercings are cute, so I'm going to get them put on someone else's body, whether they want them or not."

Linsey - posted on 05/28/2012

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I think they need to be old enough to ask and care for them themselves. I am not anti-ear piercing I have mine done and my daughter has just recently had hers done after asking she is 10.5yrs and she os caring for them wonderfully.

I know its everyones personal preference what they do with their own children but I feel physically sick when I see babies / todddlers / really little girls with earrings in, as I know that they probably havent asked for them.

Turning it on its head would you take them to the doctors and ask the doctor to make two permanent holes in their ears so they can 'look pretty'.

I regularly have to imunize babies and children and see how upset they get with a needle stuck in them, so why is ear piercing any different - you are forcing them to have something that you want and its only to look nice as opposed to potentially saving their life.

Rosie - posted on 05/27/2012

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the only reason i think a child should get their ears pierced is when they know what it is, ask for it, and can take care of them themselves. otherwise you are just projecting your wishes for your child on them, and while in most cases that isn't so bad, in this case you are actually HURTING them (however temporarily) and altering their body permanently. something they may not want. it won't hurt to wait a few more years. you can make some type of party out of it if/when you do it. :)

Jodi - posted on 05/27/2012

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Kellyanne, my daughter is 7 and doesn't have hers done. My PERSONAL opinion is that it should ultimately be up to them, and they should be able to look after it and understand the permanence. I plan on using it as a Year 6 graduation reward, or something similar for my daughter, if that's what she wants. No need to hurry it.

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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/10/2012

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I'd wait until your children are old enough to actually ask for them and help with the cleaning. My 7 year old only just got them done (with my permission) New Years Eve because she decided she wanted them. They're their ears.

People who do ear piercing professionally recommend the older the better because then the holes won't move up too be somewhere odd. My 7 year old had hers done the first time at 6 months because her father decided to do them without asking me. Now she has the scars from two holes just above where her holes are now. The lady at the Claire's where I had hers done on NYE said that was because she was young and her ears hadn't finished growing.

Teshaka - posted on 06/10/2012

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The younger the better b/c their pain tolerance is lower. My mom had mine pierced when I was 3 days old I had a cousin who was a nurse that did it in the hospital. My mom took my oldest one at 3 yrs & I just pierced my 8 yr old last year b/c she asked. I have a one year old now & i havent gotten hers done yet but im thinking real soon b/c even if she has on pink someone asks if she if a boy or a girl.

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She received a pair of diamond earrings for her anniversary and couldn't couldn't changed them to clip-ons.
-=-----
Oh that's a shame, they make things now that convert the earrings to clips.

Jamie - posted on 06/08/2012

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I personally feel that a piercing is like a tatoo in a way. You are doing something permanent to someone else's body. They are both TRENDS. At that age, children cannot tell you if they want their ears pierced. I have chose to wait until my daughter was at least 13, so that she would have time to weigh her options of having a hole in her ears (which as you get older... and the heavier the earing make your earlobes sag) or not. Besides... There is always clip-on earrings; of which was used by my grandmother until she pierced hers when she was in her 70's. She received a pair of diamond earrings for her anniversary and couldn't couldn't changed them to clip-ons. She had the most GORGEOUS clip-on earings! better than any regular ones that I've ever seen.

Merry - posted on 06/08/2012

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My little brother really really wanted his ears pierced all through his teen years but now as an adult I asked him why hadn't he done it and he says he doesn't want to anymore. He says it doesn't fit with how he wants to look as a man.
Now it's more socially acceptable for a woman to have pierced ears but the same point applies. What kids want as kids doesn't always carry over to adult desires.

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Donna, my son (also 15) has said the same thing. He doesn't like the idea of piercing anything on his body.

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I rather resent the idea that a person with only 1 hole in each ear is considered a 'goody two shoes' coming from a person that has only that but 2 tattoos. i had them done when I was 14 (against my mother's wishes). I wouldn't care if I did't have them now. My mother still happily wears clip on earrings only. It's all about personal choice. There is nothing wrong with waiting till the child wants it. And to say that 'oh I had all these problems when I had them done as a teen but that wouldn't have happened as a baby" - how can you make that assessment?

And to do it and they dont' remember it. Tattooing is also socially acceptable in this country. I still say that I should be able to tattoo a nice new baby with the family crest. They could always have it removed later but I 'm sure they wont' becasue everyone has tattoos these days. And they'll never remember it adn its' my kid anyway.

Donna - posted on 06/08/2012

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My son just turned 15 last week. During a conversation we had about his step brothers having had their ears pierced by their mother at a young age, he thanked me for not piercing his ears saying he was glad I chose for him to decide that on his own. And just to say that he never plans to get them pierced for any reason ;-)

Krista - posted on 06/01/2012

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I look at it much the same way as I look at how I would take care of a mentally incapable relative. If they NEED a medical procedure, you consent to it. But I would no sooner pierce my daughter's ears or circumcise my son's penis than I would go and pay someone to give my Alzheimer's-ravaged grandmother a tattoo or a piercing.

It's not my body. I am the current guardian of it, and have a responsibility to keep it healthy and safe. And if that occasionally involves treatments or procedures, then so be it. But that does not mean that I can permanently alter it at my whim.

Steph - posted on 06/01/2012

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Erin, noone compared ear piercing to FGM, I work with victims of FGM and it is the attitude that a child is a chattel not an individual with the right to decide what happens to their body which is the same, obviously not the outcome. Try to extrapilate the principle that a child should not be forcibly altered in any way as they should not have less human rights than adults based simply on age.

Merry - posted on 06/01/2012

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As I said before my mother in law is the same. She is a bit older then dove but still, she doesn't have piercings and has no desire to do so ever!

Dove - posted on 06/01/2012

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Erin, I'm in my 30's and the thought of wanting my ears pierced has never once crossed my mind. All I can think of (for myself) is... what's the point? I don't wear any jewelery and have no desire whatsoever to do so. I realize I'm in the minority, but I am not the only one that feels this way. It has nothing to do with being a 'goody two shoes', but rather a complete non interest in jewelery and/or material things in general. I find your assumption rather insulting... though you are certainly entitled to your opinion on the matter.

Johnny - posted on 06/01/2012

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I just recommend holding out until they are teens or tweens. My reasoning for this is the same as my parent's, because it's a good thing to hold over their heads for good behaviour. I had to prove to my parents that I was a responsible kid, capable of looking after my own body and well behaved before I was allowed. It wasn't just how old I had to be, but how I had to act to earn the privelege. Besides, that put me at an age where I was making the decision for myself.

I have no issue with piercing baby's ears or small kid's ears. I honestly don't see it as a big deal, I certainl don't think of it as akin to FGM or anything like that. And it is a cultural thing for many groups. One of my friends from Ecuador told me it is done routinely for baby girls in the hospital unless the parent's opt out. I've had many friends remove their piercings, they grow over. You aren't stuck with it for life if you change your mind. My mother had to have her's re-pierced at 45 (orignally done when she was 9) because they'd grown over after her not bothering to wear them for 10 years.

Merry - posted on 06/01/2012

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Erin, you said, "socially-acceptable body decoration" well scarring is also a socially acceptable body decoration. Just not here in America. Have you seen a video of this? It's done to very small girls and they are held down and cut on their faces so they will have perminent decorative scars.
It's ridiculous.
And IMO piercing a baby girls ears is just as ridiculous.
Imagine if you'd have gotten infected as an infant? Imagine how much more it would have hurt had you been a 15lb infant!

Erin - posted on 06/01/2012

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I'm going to offer a different perspective: the child's. My mom had the "let her wait until she's old enough to decide" idea and it was such a pain. I got them pierced (with the gun) for the first time when I was 15 (I had previously been to chicken to do it). It hurt quite a bit and they got infected, so I had to let them close up. I finally got them pierced again 4 years later (with needles) and it hurt even worse (but this time they healed correctly, albeit very slowly). If my mom had pierced my ears when I was a baby, not only would I not remember it, I'm sure I would've healed quicker and with less trouble. Besides, what young woman in today's society doesn't want pierced ears? 50 years ago it was kind of scandalous. But in 2012 you're a goody two shoes if all you have pierced is one hole in each ear.

As far as comparing ear piercings to female genital mutilation, I feel that's disrespectful to victims of FGM. FGM is dangerous and excruciatingly painful and the purpose of it is to ensure men's power over women. Earrings are a form of socially-acceptable body decoration and if you don't want to wear earrings you can just take them out. You can't undo FGM.

Merry - posted on 05/31/2012

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Ear piercing is obviously less invasive then female circumcision or scarring but it's the same principle IMO.
Why not let girls keep their bodies as they were made and if/when they want to do it they can do it themselves.

Steph - posted on 05/31/2012

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Crystal, just wondering if you feel the same way about mothers in some African communities who believe it is their choice to mutilate their daughter's genitals at 3 yrs of age? Not so clear cut is it? I realise these are two extremes of forced body alteration on children, however the same principle applies that the parent treats the child as a chattel for them to do with and deface as they wish, rather than as the precious, perfect and unique little human beings that they are. Their bodies are their own, NOT YOURS, let them decide when they are mature enough to do so.

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My daughter was 3 weeks old when I got her ears pierced. She made a lil squeak when it was done and that was it. She's never played with them or messed with them. And they have never been infected. As far as her not liking them when she's older...she always has the option of taking them out and letting the holes close up. However i don't think she will as she loves them and she's almost 4. Ultimately the choice is yours. Everyone can tell you their story and have their own opinion of what's right and wrong, but it's up to you and what you feel is right for your daughters.

Steph - posted on 05/30/2012

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It makes me feel very uncomfortable seeing children, especially very young ones with pierced ears. I just can't imagine deliberately inflicting pain on my baby or child for vanities sake and I really wonder about parents who would do that. I feel very sorry for the little ones.

Merry - posted on 05/30/2012

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My mothering law is in her 50s and has no piercings. She never wanted them! Give your daughters the choice of their own body.

Frené - posted on 05/30/2012

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@Natasha, I'm just curious as to how you know a 9month old and 6year old will eventually want their ears pierced? I know many girls (and boys) who NEVER want it done and some of them nearing 60 still don't want their ears pierced, so how do you know?

Pamela - posted on 05/29/2012

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My understanding is that the earlier the better before they react strongly to pain. My Mother refused to allow me to do so, so at age 18, in my first year of college, one of my dorm mates pierced my ears with a needle sterilized with a lighter flame and alcohol, with a bar of soap held behind my ear. That was back 1n 1963! One of my ears became infected and it took a while to get healed.

Many women get the baby's ears pierced around 6 months. Up to you. Just be careful to monitor for swelling and infectious pus. Al;so remember that active children in elementary school need to have earrings that are not easily pulled or tugged.

How many years do you want to be responsible for checking heir ears before they are capable of doing so themselves? This includes lost earrings, etc.

Lori - posted on 05/29/2012

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I personally am waiting until my daughter is old enough to take care of them herself. I got mine done just before I turned 13 and I ended up being allergic, swollen, beet red, ears on fire kind of allergic. I don't want to risk my girl being the same way and not being able to understand what was happening. If I had her ears pierced before then I would constantly worry about her swallowing part of an earring and hurting herself. It is up to you on if you choose or leave it up to her when she is older.

Lauren - posted on 05/29/2012

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My first daughter asked to have them done and we had a lot of problems with them not wanting to heal but used gold and cleaned regularly and got past it. My second daughter cut all her hair off *gasp* right after she turned 3 and we got them pierced so that her pixie cut would not leave her looking like a boy... we never had any problems and she loves them. Generally, my idea is to let them ask and be old enough to care for them. Hope this helps :-)

Felicity - posted on 05/29/2012

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Not everyone wants them done though, yes there is a chance, but no guarantee, if I knew what I was getting into, I would never have bothered, hence the reason I think leaving it until they fully understand is a good option.

Natasha - posted on 05/29/2012

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We did our daughters at 6 and 9 months, as we knew they would eventually want them done and then we didn't have to deal with them not cleaning them properly on their own. Neither of them had any sort of trouble with them and they are now 11 and 6 yrs old and neither of them are upset about having earings. If you did pierce their ears and then by some chance they didn't want them anymore, you can always take them out and the holes will close up with minimal scaring.

Lisa - posted on 05/29/2012

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I would think that 2 and 3 are bad ages to have it done because of their maturity. I would think that there could be some problems. I know my 3 year old wouldn't handle it well and I would have a heck of a time keeping them clean.I was in 4th grade when I had mine done (the first time of many) and I believe at that point I was mature enough to do it. For those who say the holds (edited:holes) close up- I have holes that have not had earrings in them for 10+ years and they are still quite noticeable.



My personal opinion on it for my family is that it is her body and she should make that decision for herself. I didn't circumcise my son for the same reason. I don't believe I have the right to permanently alter my kids bodies.



Good luck with your decision!

Melissa - posted on 05/29/2012

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Everyone needs to make this decision on their own. There is nothing wrong with either doing it now or waiting until later.

Kkrjrpleggett - posted on 05/29/2012

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When they are old enough to request it themselves and to take care of them themselves. I've always used that sort of thing as an opportunity to teach responsibility. I would not allow a child under the age of 8 or 9 to get their ears pierced.

Erin - posted on 05/29/2012

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Honestly when you say its ok, my daughter had hers at 4 months and she does not play with them nor do they bother her at all and she is now 1. They allow you to get your ears pierced after you have had your first round of shots as a baby so if they didn't think it was ok they wouldnt allow you to get it done, and no child is really going to be upset by a tiny hole in their ear if they decide that they don't want earrings. So i say the younger the better as long as you take care of being sure they are clean, and being taken care of properly. Everyone thinks differently on this topic but there is no wrong answer to this one.

Niki - posted on 05/29/2012

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I may be the weird one here, but I am pretty sure the choice to change my child's body belongs to HER. With the exception of surgery or a necessary procedure. When they are old enough to ask, and take care of them go for it. I have also seen alot of parents get their tiny baby's ears pierced and then they grow and the positioning is wrong. Getting a child's ears pierced is akin to just going out and getting them a tattoo - its not for them its for you.

Laura - posted on 05/29/2012

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I would wait until they are older. Like others I think it is their decision but you will also be missing out on a mother daughter memory. When my daughter decided to do this. We made a day of it, we went to the mall, even had lunch together. I think this was one of the special times that we shared together. I think you will miss out on the memory, its like a right of passage to becoming a woman. I am sure that many mothers remember when they took there daughters to get their ears pierced and daughters remember this time also. I even took my daughter to get her nose peirced and I know we both remember that one.

Sylvia - posted on 05/29/2012

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I personally wouldn't; I think that's a decision people should be able to make for themselves. But I know that's kind of a minority view.

I have an almost 10-year-old who is just starting to get a little bit interested in the idea. I also have sisters- and nieces-in-law who started asking "When are you getting her ears pierced?" before she was a month old. At first I thought they were kidding. Eventually I realized they genuinely thought it was weird that I hadn't even considered it. Finally I started telling them, "I am not going to get her ears pierced. She can get her own ears pierced if she ever wants to."

My great-niece-in-law (yes, really) just got her 2yo DD's ears pierced. Fine, no problem, her baby, her choice. But my SIL (baby's great-grandma) can't stop going on about how "Now she looks like a little girl!" which frankly really grosses me out -- I mean, it's not like she didn't look like a little girl before, and WTF does that mean anyway?!

Anyway. I personally wouldn't, but lots of people do, and I don't know that it's necessarily traumatic or anything.

Merry - posted on 05/29/2012

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The biggest reason I wouldn't pierce my baby's ears is not really a good reason, but it is how I feel lol. I think moms of babies with pierced ears look vain and selfish. To alter your infants body for your own personal vain reasons just bugs me and I'd never want to be thought of like that.
I honestly can't believe so many people do this to their babies. It's really kinda sad.

The real good reasons not to do it to babies is that it's a broach of their bodily integrity. It's perminently changing their bodies and they have no choice. It could get infected, could be lopsided' could get an allergy, they could rip the earring out of their ear and tear a slit in their lobe, they could loose the back or swallow it.

Pick a reason and stick with it. Don't pierce babies ears! And IMO, they're 'baby' enough til like 5-6 years they're just going with a fad or an idea someone put in their head. Even from 6-12 I'd say the majority of girls want earrings based on so and so who has them, not because they really want them themselves.

Renee - posted on 05/29/2012

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I have 3 daughters and I have gotten all there ears pierced at 6mths old. They have never had any problems w/them or ever played w/them either. You do what you feel is the right thing for your child.

Heather - posted on 05/29/2012

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I posted earlier about my daughter waiting and I want to say I thought of haveing hers pierced at and earlier age but glad I wait because we found out the she is allergic to nikle and her ears got red swollen because of it and she was able to understand what was going on and I think it was a great learning experince for her to know what earing she can wear and what she can't wear.

Kate - posted on 05/29/2012

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Karen - the whole point of this question is a concerned Mother asking others their opinion as to when their child has their ears pierced - you do not need to be so rude - your opinion is yours and there are many who share the same mindset as your but I don't and there are many others who feel any person should be able to make that decision for themselves ... hopefully this Mum will read all comments and weigh up the pro's and cons for the benefit of her children ... please do not be disrespectful to other people opinions ...

Mandy - posted on 05/29/2012

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I had mine done when I was 10! My parents insisted I be old enough. After I had them done (and after months of infections and pain) it was discovered that I'm allergic to nickel so no costume jewellery or surgical steel for me! I barely wear earrings now and my daughter will not get them done until after the age of 10!! In saying that, it is still your decision and ultimately your responsibility to make sure they are cleaned and looked after.

Karen - posted on 05/29/2012

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I had both my girls ears done when they were babies. I believe they have to be at least 6 months of age because there is a certain shot they are suppose to get before they are allowed to have them pierced (a reputable place will ask you if that had been done or ask the age of the child to see if they meet requirements). Both of my girls cried about 5 minutes when it was done and then it was over, they were fine. Today, both my girls are 9 and 8 and I don't have to go through the...I want to have them done...No, I don't...Yes, I do...Is it going to hurt?...When is going to stop hurting?...I want to take them out...etc. The whole let them choose thing when they are old enough...C'mon! You live in the dark ages? It's only getting their ears pierced...they can always choose later not to wear earrings if they don't want them and let their ears close up. You will not regret getting them done now and they may thank you for it later.

Frené - posted on 05/29/2012

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imo never, it's not your body
and what next you have them tattooed
let them decide when they truly understand the consequences and responsability and pay for it themselves

Desiree - posted on 05/28/2012

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Oh I should also add that if you are going to have it done, make sure you get the solid gold ear rings. I know, they aren't as cute, but its the least likely to cause a reaction should she have an allergy. I always suggested that to my first time pierces.
~Desiree

Chioma - posted on 05/28/2012

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It depends on you really, i got my girl's ears pierced at birth. I think its better when the whole skin is still very soft, atleast now i wont have to be thinking of the she will go through while doing at a later age

Desiree - posted on 05/28/2012

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I think this is a decision that should be left up to you. Everyone has their own opinion, and its a very personal decision. I know in some cultures it is customary to pierce ears shortly after the baby girl is born. I dont think that this is wrong, but it wouldn't be my decision to do to my own child. I waited until my daughter asked to have her ears done. She was 4.

I used to work in jewelers and pierced ears, and I will tell you that those are probably the hardest ages to have it done. I would suggest going somewhere they can do both ears at once, and I probably wouldn't take both girls together, but to get them done on separate days. There is nothing worse then walking out w/ only one ear done... because the likelihood of getting them back in for the second is slim at best.
~Desiree

Arianna - posted on 05/28/2012

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my girls are 20 months and almost 3.......I got theirs done a couple months ago, and for the first few days my younger daughter would scream every time I cleaned them.........now the only time they "hurt" is when they get caught on a shirt

Rachelle - posted on 05/28/2012

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Mine were 3 and 6 months when they got theirs done and they are 2 and 5 now, never had any problems. I was one when i got mine done and never had an issue.

Kerry - posted on 05/28/2012

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my girls were 2 and 3 they asked for them so we took them at separate times to do it.

JoDee - posted on 05/28/2012

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Ok I can completely understand the whole "it's the girls body wait til she decides" deal, but if they're 2 and 3 and want it done just do it! It's not a life and death thing, it's not permanent, and I've never had a doctor tell me not to do it. If the girls want to have it done then just go for it!! If they decide they don't like it they can always take the earrings out, no harm no foul.

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