What are my rights as a step mother?? I have a step daughter who is 5 , turning 6 this November. I have been with her since she was 15 months old. Her father is taking her mother to court, trying to get custody. Her mother is amazingly jealous of me and our relationship.( the daughter and myself.) She insist, and tells the. Gild, that I am nothing to HER daughter and she should never have to talk to me let alone about anything to do with HER daughter!


Jodi - posted on 08/24/2012




Technically, you don't have any rights, but at times her father has custody, he has the right to hand over some of his parental responsibility to you. However, she is right in that she shouldn't have to talk to you about her daughter if she chooses not to. That is dad's job, not yours.

Why is dad trying to get custody off mum? Who currently has primary custody?


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Lacye - posted on 08/25/2012




You are going to have to step back a little bit. Just because you step back, however, does not mean you are going to love your stepdaughter any less. Just stop trying to contact the BM. Let your husband take care of that. That's his job in all of this. I'm a stepmother as well and I can tell you that it is not our place to deal with the BM. It is your spouse's. All getting involved is going to do is cause more problems for you. I know, I've been there. You are just going to go through more heartache by trying to deal with the crazy person.

Dove - posted on 08/24/2012




I disagree with the mother telling the daughter that you are nothing, but I do agree with the mother that she shouldn't have to talk to you. She didn't have a baby with you and didn't choose you to be in her daughter's life. Sure, it's great if the two of you can get along, but that isn't always possible. If she doesn't want to talk to you.... there is no reason in the world why she should have to. She should be able to speak directly to her ex about the child they share together and the father can then discuss things with you.

I am curious as to why the father is going to court to try and take custody away from the mother, but that doesn't change the facts that legally, you don't have rights to the child. Yes, you are a parental figure when she is in your home and deserve the same respect from the child, but all major parenting decisions should be left up to the biological and legal parents of the child.

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