What are some good ideas for a first meeting of a 12 yr old w/ dad

Paul - posted on 06/20/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I'm a Dad, and I had a daughter that was hidden from me for 12 years and I am trying to get a meeting with her now that I have found out she exist. I am happy and mad at this situation, but the child is mine and I need to be there for her now if I can. What are ideas for where we could go and get to know each other? Also, I am worried about the meeting, seeings her mom is such a liar and always tries to make things worse. My daughter has asked to see me but her mom is fighting it. I've not moved so she can find me and all my numbers stay the same no matter what. and my facebook and tinychat pages are always ready so she can contact me for anything she needs. I have many health issues and the doctors don't know how much time I have left, so I am trying to be patient but time is not on my side.

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Ev - posted on 06/27/2016

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It is just that in your OP you said you just found out she existed after 12 years leading us to believe you did not know of her at all. And then in a later post you said something about having lawyers and her mother arrested and the judge saying you would never have her that only her mother's family would. So that lead us to believe you knew of her long before this post was made and that is why we asked what was really the story.

Paul - posted on 06/27/2016

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when the child was born, a friend of my ex called me from Tennessee, my ex was in Georgia. and the girl told me that the baby was being born, so I left and drove to the hospital there and was there outside of the hospital when she was born. The mother had me removed from the hospital so I could not see her. I went to the attorneys office and got papers ready so I could see the child. As a month went by my ex moved so I could not see the child, the judge let it go on by, so as time went my chances went too. I had to find them first and then start again. I finally got the DFS office to contact her, so I could give her some money to help with the baby, you know women and money, so she (my ex) showed up.. without the baby.. As time went on, the DFS office called me one day and said that my ex had moved again and they did not know where she was and that the baby had died of some cancer and they told me that I was not to send anymore money there . I was so angry and needless to say that any woman like my ex was on my worst list and got no kindness from me. I have repented of that now and I have let that all go and my ministry is better for it. Thank God! Love is the way to go, and look not, I have her and I will see her today if God wills it. So you see its hard to put all in words all that has happened and I am sorry that you didn't understand all the story, but comments in a derogatory nature helps no one....My story is straight I didn't know she was still alive after about 6 months of her birth, I still sought my ex to make sure that it all was true because the lady at the DFS office was a friend of my ex and both are habitual liars..

Michelle - posted on 06/23/2016

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You need to get your story straight. You either didn't know she existed or you had her taken away from you. It can't be both.

Ev - posted on 06/22/2016

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You said in your first post that your child was hidden from you for the first 12 years of her life and you just found out she exists. In the last post you put out you said that " Last time I had two lawyers and the judge let her go free, even though I had her arrested and brung back to the state for court. The judge told me in the court room, "no matter what you do, you will never have her, even if she dies and her mom and her sisters, your daughter will always go to someone in your ex's family and never to you"," which means to me that you knew of the child prior to now. What is the story then?

Paul - posted on 06/22/2016

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yes it was when I was out of the Lords way and my life always seemed empty, so one day I had enough and went back to the Lord and he blessed me and has since then. Last time I had two lawyers and the judge let her go free, even though I had her arrested and brung back to the state for court. The judge told me in the court room, "no matter what you do, you will never have her, even if she dies and her mom and her sisters, your daughter will always go to someone in your ex's family and never to you", that is a direct quote from him. But, praise God, I have this opportunity to see my princess now and I am praying God get the glory out of it, and that I get to help my daughter get to know me and the Lord asap. Thank's for the words, and I will let you know maybe this Tuesday what happened with my first visit... :)

Ev - posted on 06/21/2016

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I would not worry about suing police, DHS, and any others who helped her get away wit this. You could file for visitation on your part at the least and mom would have to comply. I think it is awful when someone intentionally keeps a child from the other parent. And I am glad to hear you are a minister. You know though it does not look good as a minister--I am guessing it happened before you met your wife--it can show people how human you are like them. Even priests have fallen along the way and they are celebate. But you want to know your child and that says a lot to me. Get a lawyer and find out your rights where you live and where she actually lives (states have different laws on custody, visits, and so on) and see what you can do.

Paul - posted on 06/21/2016

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Thanks everyone for the comments. I have set up a visit on the 27th of June at the Adventure land in Dothan, Al. I thought that it being my birthday and such a great blessing on that day to see here for the first time, we can play some games and ride gokarts and pot pot a game or two. That will give me time to talk to her and laugh and just be with each other and get to know one another a little, I worry her mom will just try to start something there and they will leave and my chance will get farther away from me. Its been so hard lately to keep my life in control. It looks bad on me in the ministry and I want to be used for God's Word and purpose. My wife and I do not have children because of my diabetes now and that also causes problems in my marriage. I am praying and asking that God give me his wisdom and that I stay calm in all of this. Anger and hate can be sins if acted on and I don't want that. I am trying to do the right thing, she has hide her from me so long and I am sure she has told her I do not want to know her, that's a lie and I am so angry that it has happened. I lost everything I had then trying to catch her through the police and the Sheriffs dept and detectives and court. They always let her get away and my rights where taken from me. They called me, family services, and said my girl had died and that the mother had disappeared and I was to wait until I was reached from them again in the future. I found out the lady who called me was a friend of my ex and she works at family services, but because of the time that has past I can not sue the family service office for lying to me. Just pray that God gives me the strength and I except how ever it goes.

Amaze - posted on 06/20/2016

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It's wonderful to learn that you got to know the existence of your daughter after twelve years, and I really appreciate your desire to be there for her. As pp said, getting a lawyer may be your best bet at this time. As another option, you may seek professional counselors' help as they might be able to offer some helpful ideas. Hope everything goes well, and that you have a great time meeting your daughter soon. Praying for you all.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/20/2016

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Get a lawyer. They will know exactly what to do, and how to legally pursue you seeing your daughter.

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