Katrina - posted on 11/12/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
I am just trying to get some feedback on what people feel is appropriate for a step-parent to be involved in. My fiance's son came to live with "us" when he was 5. We have a daughter together, so I have always felt it best to treat both of them as my own simply to prevent any feelings of one being more important than the other. In no way do I try to claim the now 9 year old as my son, but I do set consequences, have stern talks with, and ask BOTH children to do things. My fiance is the custodial parent and has his son through the week. We live together and it seems like any time I have a concern or a question, people bash me for being "too involved". The child does live with us, we are the only ones currently supporting his son, and we are the only ones regularly involved in his life such as sports, his schooling, and his day-to-day activities. I see some people say by all means a step-parent should be just as involved as the parents if they are supporting the child. On the other end I have people saying I am not the mother and that in no way should I be putting my 2 cents in or even trying to talk to the child's mother at all. I guess I am expected to be something like a friend who looks after my soon-to-be-stepson. I just want to create a family environment where everyone is treated as an equal. Is that wrong?