What can a mother do to help her son remove his father's last name.

Joann Torres - posted on 03/02/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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16 years ago I gave birth to a wonderful handsome baby boy. Back then I can decide on what is best for him. Tell him that his father is working somewhere else and that his father loves him very much and that he will soon come back and see him. The question I usually get from him was why. As days turns into months into years, my baby became a teenager. The question of why became what and when. You see, my son finally knew that all these years I tried to protect him from getting hurt by not telling him that his father does not want anything to do with him. When I had my son, I was still legally married to this man. Although he lived thousands of miles away, I trusted him. and I thought that he will come for his son. He knew that he became a father and according to him, he was happy about that. A year later, I found out that he was cheating. I filed for divorce and change my last name to my maiden name. Over the years, despite the differences I had with my son's father, I still tell my son his father loves him. Now, my son is 16 years and he wants me to help him to get his father's last name off his birth certificate and to change his last name. As a single mother, I need help on what to do. I want to help him but I don't want my son to regret it later.

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Sarah - posted on 03/04/2015

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That's sort of my point, why can't you find a way around her? If you have an address, show up at his door. There is no way that I alone could prevent someone from talking to my spouse, if they really wanted too. I could refuse to give a message or a phone number but there are ways around me to get to him.

Joann Torres - posted on 03/04/2015

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We can't reach the father. This woman does not want to give my son the father's number. According to her, my son will not have a penny from him and that he has a new family and to leave his father alone because he will never come for him. I am not sure if the father is involve in this but I believe the lady is not telling my son's father that he is trying to get in contact with him. She is an evil person.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/04/2015

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Are you in the US? If so, since he's a minor child, you will need to petition the courts for a name change. Start with your state's office of vital statistics or records, and they will give you the process to follow.

NOTE: If anyone responds to the published petition (it needs to be published in legal notices for 6-8 weeks depending on the municipality), then a judge will take those responses into account when considering his/her decision. Also note that the judge's decision is final, and if there are enough responses against, they can decide not to grant the change. Again, it depends on where you live.

Sarah - posted on 03/04/2015

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Why can't you or your son reach his father directly? Is he disabled? I think you 'd both have a better sense of resolution if you could deal directly with each other. Unless he is being held prisoner, you should be able to speak to him. Unless he is using this woman as an excuse?

Joann Torres - posted on 03/03/2015

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Thank you very much for the respond Sarah however, my son and I had worked out our problems. We did not go for any counseling but we were able to worked it out. According to him, he did not blame me for what has happen but rather blaming his father. What I had posted are just few of our story. We were able to move on with our lives until one day when he receives a message from his father's girlfriend on facebook has made my son to have this hatred in him. It is enough that my son has grown to be a teenager without his father by his side and this lady is sending numerous pictures of his father's new family such as his new children. My son was able to chat for a short time with his dad later on but his father can't answer all his questions because the lady is there typing for him. My son ask the lady to have his father do the typing to have their own father and son moment but she refuses and told my son that the chat will be their last and to forget about his father since he has moved on and has new children now. The look of disappointment at my son's face has made me to take action by sending this woman a message telling her never to send my son any more messages and that I want to speak with my son's father but she refuses to inform him that I was trying to get in contact with him. That is just a few reasons why my son wants to remove his father's last name. He does not want any more problems with this lady. As an ex wife, now I see the reason why he was not able to get in contact with his son all these years.

Sarah - posted on 03/02/2015

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First you need to get some counseling for you and your son. You've lied to him for 16 years. You could have been honest and told him the truth, that you don't know why his dad is not around but you love him enough for the both of you. You can't change the past, so start working on helping your son understand that sometimes people are just not cut out to be parents, and that has nothing to do with him. Also, work towards rebuilding trust between you and your son.
As far as the birth certificate. If your son wants to change his name, go to the county clerk and petition for a name change. People do it all of the time.

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