What can I do when my 9th grade son is begging to be homeschooled?

Kristine - posted on 09/06/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




My son has a great & well thought out IEP for his learning disabilities. This has been very helpful & his saving grace, since his diagnosis of ADD in the early years of elementary school. However, as the years have gone by, we have found that he is being unfairly & socially ostrasized by his peers, due his learning challenges and the smaller classroom environment he prefers to continue to opt to remain in so that he may get the one-on-one help that he requires for success. Early on, he LOVED school, but now my worst fear is coming true: he dreads it &hates it! He stresses out at the very thought & cries to me how petrified he is to go back each day. Somehow, thank God, he is, for now, still eager to learn and to do well in as far as grades. However, starting a few years ago, he started seriously asking to be home schooled instead. The public school system he is in is an excellent one and provides a bounty of resources. This school year, having just begun last week & we are on day 3 of this new year (of which he has already missed one day due to absolute anxiety & stress). Now, he is actually BEGGING to be schooled at home! If I could read the future to know what is the very best venue for my child's education, I would do whatever is the best thing. If home schooling would be the most beneficail for him, I would immediately do my research and get that plan in action. I have no experience at all and need help.
On a side note, to add to my confusion, my painfully shy, independant, stong-willed, 16 year old daughter (now 11th grader), honors student and polar opposite of her brother learning-style wise, is suddenly making the same request for differant reasons altogehter. Upon learning that homeschool was even an option that I was willing to entertain, she has apporoached me everyday on the subject. Although her reasons differ greatly, I am also concerned about her. She says she would much prefer learning at home than in shcool and has even quit (against my will) her huge commitment to the school's marching band over this past summer. Her explanation
was that it was too big of a time commitment and that she wanted more time to focus on her honors classes and to join other clubs and so forth. However, now that school has begun, she complains aobut giong and shows no interest wahtsoever in getting any more involved in the school than she has to?!?! She has always done excellent in school, even earning distinguished honor roll. She is telling me that if I would homeschool her brother bc of his learning disabilities and bc of how cruelly he is being treated as a result of the extra help he needs, that it would actually be only fair that I provide the same option for her as well. My hesitation with her is mainly that she has always thrived & flourished in school up to now.
I am confused, stressed out and scared to make the wrong decisions on any of this as I have no experience with home schooling or cyber schooling at all and want desperately to make the right choices for each of my two individual children and for their education so that they may have the options that they deserve laid out ion the future. Please offer any advise on this huge topic that you may have to offer. I would appreciate all feedback! Thank you for listening!


Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2011




My husband had issues with school. He hated going, and dreaded the snide comments he knew he would hear every day, so he dropped out. Now, 15 years later, he wishes he had his diploma for job reasons. We have both talked about it, and have decided that if any of our kids ever want homeschooled, I will gladly be their teacher. I would much rather them be homeschooled, then for them to drop out and not graduate. Homeschooling is not a "dis-service" in any way. In fact, your child can learn so much more, because every lesson will be taylored to him and his special needs. The same for your daughter. I would, if you do choose to homeschool, make sure you get involved in a homeschool group in your area so that your children are still involved socially with other kids, and encourage them to participate in activities in the community for the same reason.

JuLeah - posted on 09/06/2011




Home school is more then buying them workbooks.

Teachers are required to have a masters degree, so 6+ yrs of college. They understand how people learn, how to break down lessons, how to assess and build on skills ....

Because you can do math does not mean you can teach it

Home school is a dis-service to most kids in most situations because the parents are not qualified teachers. Plus your child has a learning disability????

Social stuff is a challenge, removing them from social situations won't actually help them improve their social skills

They have to live in the world, work with all types of people, work in groups, work for people, act as a boss .... they can't stay at home for the rest of their lives

And, if your son is that frightened to be in school, something needs to happen. Pulling him out, I doubt is the answer, but something needs to change.

You has sat down with him, with his teachers and talked out what his fears are? Brainstormed ways to help?

As for your daughter ... dropping out of social things is not the direction you want her headed in ... again, conversation about why school is not working for her and brianstorm ways to fix the problem - that is a life skill, retreat, running from is not a life skill

Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2011




Talk to the guidence counsilor about any options. My neice wanted to be homeschooled, but with working parents it wasn't going to happen. She was moved into alternitive ed, and has excelled. She went from D and F to straight A's. She was suppose to be in 10th grade last year, but didn't have enough credits, she went to alt ed, and only had half a credit needed to graduate this year. She is now doing college courses at her HS through a computer. She will finish her 2nd year of college courses by May. My state(ok) also offers on-line HS courses that can be done at home or alt ed at off campus sites. I also had a student who was enrolled at the school, but came in once a week to get her assignments. We(teachers and aides)graded her work and tutored her, but she did her work at home.There are other options that I'm not even aware of. Since your son is on an IEP, it is the schools job to find a solution. (Your daughter may be tougher!) I've never really heard anything bad coming from an ernest effort to homeschool though. Just look at all your options!


View replies by

Merry - posted on 09/06/2011




My husband begged to be homeschooled in his pre teen ages and his mom agreed and he did satellite school. He excelled at home and he is so thankful he didn't have to continue in school as it was not about learning anymore, it was all about the other kids, who hates who and who to avoid getting hit by or whose talking about you behind your back. He wasn't even learning anymore!

At home he did his work and then had a social life apart from his learning. It worked well for him so he could concentrate on his school without the stresses of the mean kids.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms