what do i do?

Heather - posted on 11/10/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Im 20 weeks preg and my babys daddy doesnt want to be around but has no problem calling and satrting arguments with me and stressing me out. But i dont not wanna answer the phone cause what happens when my baby gets older and wants to no where his daddy is

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/10/2011

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Heather, you needn't allow someone into your life that will be abusive, controlling or infantile. You're going to have one infant to deal with, you don't need two!

Don't answer his calls now. Actually, you can request a number change from your phone provider, and I'd do that. Once the baby is born, establish paternity, and if it's his, then get him nailed down for child support. If he doesn't want to participate by supporting his child, make him sign over his rights.

As far as male role models, look to your community. Do you have a circle of friends? Are some of them male? Are they good people? Would they be willing to help be the "village" for your son?

As he gets older, there are programs such as Big Brothers/Big sisters that will help with the role model thing too, but right at first, it's more important that the baby feel loved, secure, and safe. If you don't make the lack of a "daddy" a big deal, he won't either. And, when he's old enough to ask (and you know he will) you will have time to figure out how to tell him that his biological father wasn't mature enough to handle his responsibility.

Heather - posted on 11/10/2011

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my step dad is an idot and my brother is in prison but i guess i can be mommy and daddy

Amy - posted on 11/10/2011

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Well you can deal with it when the baby gets here I'd ignore him for now since stress really isn't good for the baby. Besides even when the baby gets here it doesn't guarantee that he's going to be a good father. Do you have a brother or your own father who can be a good male role model when the time comes?

Heather - posted on 11/10/2011

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I don't wanna be with him i hate hate him. And he calss cause one minute he wants to be there and the next he doesnt but he hasnt even been to one of my doctors appts. Id prefer him to not be around honestly but i also want whats best for the baby

Amy - posted on 11/10/2011

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If you don't want to answer the phone then don't! What exactly is he starting arguments about? In your other post you said he doesn't want anything to do with the baby and if that's the case there is no reason to talk to him. When the baby is born you can take to court establish paternity to get child support and he can file for visitation if he wants.

As far as what you tell your son you have some time to deal with that but there is no point in forcing a relationship upon someone who doesn't want one.

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