What do I do?

Eve - posted on 08/25/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a 14 yo daughter who insists on going against my dating rules, I told her she's not allowed to date until after she's 15. She's your perfect A honor roll, National Honor Society and cheerleader type of student and although she's responsible with those things she has really bad choices in boys, so much so that I had to take her to see a therapist because it seems she has a low self esteem and the last boy she tried to date only caused more damage than good (cutting). I'm trying to make her understand that she needs to love herself first before thinking of dating anyone. I don't know what to do any more without being the worse mom ever and having her completely silent on me. Do I stand my ground or should I just let her make her mistakes and learn on her own? I mean in today's society these kids are sexting and I'm not okay with that!

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Dove - posted on 08/25/2015

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Good luck! That's all I have left. ;) Hopefully someone else has better, additional advice.

Eve - posted on 08/25/2015

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Yes she is still in counseling and my husband - her father is involved only when she goes to him. She actually speaks to him more than with me because "I just don't understand." What frustrates me is he doesn't seem to care about these little things as he calls it but I try to make him understand that she's not emotionally ready to take on more. I don't know what she NEEDS because she won't talk to me, but when she has it's been that no one is good enough for her to date according to me and what her counselor discussed with me is that she just doesn't know how to emotionally react in many things. She needs to learn how to deal with her feelings. Thank you for your response and I agree we need to figure out what she feels she's lacking. Sometimes I think it may be me caring too much and being too involved, yet when I back away then she attacks with me not caring...I can't find that middle ground.

Dove - posted on 08/25/2015

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Is she still in the counseling? What is her relationship like w/ her father? She is acting like this likely because she is missing something in her life that she NEEDS... and it is not likely to get better if she does not get what she needs and she will continue to try and seek it in the wrong places and the wrong ways.

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