what do i do about my 13 yr old who is girl crazy

Qiana - posted on 09/30/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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all he ants to do is come home get online, talk on the phone or sneak and watch adult movies????

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Stephanie - posted on 09/30/2009

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Time to have the talk....Reassure him that he is normal and that his hormones[primarily testosterone ] actually drive him to this behavior but that it is your job to help him prioritize whats really important in life.As hard as this conversation will be you need to talk to him about masturbation and that is normal and should be kept private.The movies he is sneaking around to watch is most likely for this purpose as well as curiosity so you should tell him that if he thinks he is old enough to watch them then he should be mature enough to have an adult conversation about it. With my son I also talked to him about how real girls don't look or act like the movie girls too.I think too many boys grow up thinking that they are a reality which is makes for some really unhealthy expectations later in life.And asking the question of whether or not he has had sex or not.You can also get some books about sex and the human anatomy for him to read if you are too timid to talk so openly with your son.Just put them on a shelf where he can find them easily himself .Of course if he is really into the computer get him to read up on testosterone himself so he will realize that you are treating him like a young man and that he is growing into a new body and a new time in his life. I used to tell my son things like" I know that I can't compete with the young pretty girls for your attention but I am your Mother and you must listen to what I am saying to you because I love you.And I want only the best for you"We had a very good relationship with open communication.So much so that he brought his friends to me for answers or opinions.You should also talk to him about the dangers of internet predators and as Ryann said remove the computer from his room.Also talk to him about the consequences of posting nude or sexually offensive material online .Employers and universities can check that stuff now.And once it is there you can't get rid of it.I hope some of this helps you and your son.The teenage years are tough all around and can really try your patience just remember it's a phase and before you know it they are out of the house,have a family of their own and your wondering why they never call or visit.Lol...Good luck Qiana

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Jeannete - posted on 03/12/2012

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Im not even worried about the porn anymore. I take his phone and ipod touch away before he goes to sleep at night. I used to catch him all the time. Now he gets it taken away every night. My problem is the girlfriends at this age! He is so girl crazy and I am so worried for him. I keep him on a short leash. He does not have any access to the computer passwords. Whenever he needs to do homework or such...I type in the password and watch everything that he. Give them that trust and if they mess up thats when you have to talk to them. Im so glad Im not alone in this! Jazmin

Brandy - posted on 10/24/2009

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I would never let my child have a computer in his room. But my son is 14 and is also girl crazy. Every friend he has is also like that. I believe it's just a stage they go through. Welcome to the teen years. Watching adult movies is a different story though. I would find out where he's getting them from and if it is on a TV in his room then block the channels. You can put ratings on your TV's for proper programming. I too would have the "talk" with him. It was about a year or two ago that my husband and I both had the "talk" with my son. In this day and age you need to be up front and honest about sex and what it is or the conseqences of having sex because this society is all about sex. Just look at the programming on TV.

Jolynne - posted on 10/22/2009

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i read it wrong this morning. I would not allow my son to watch adult movies. I would take everything away from him except his cloths and his bed and he would have to obey the rules in order to get certian things back like his phone. I would give him a time limit on his phone. would not allow him to use the computer for anything other then homework and under my supervision where I could see what he was doing and in a room that is always visible to me. I would take the plug to the Tv with me when I am not at home .and explain to him about relationships with male and female and that those kinds of movies are a false reality of how relationships are between men and women and that there not even repectful and give you the wrong idea about women.you have to stand firm on your boundries, no matter what he says or does. and the longer he fights it the longer he has no stuff.

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Weren't we all crazy for something like that at one time or another? Don't yell, just tell him he can do his thing when he's got his homework done and his chores are finished. Turn off the computer if you have to. But that's half the fun of being that age - life is so exciting.

Laura - posted on 10/22/2009

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I like the book Preparing for Adolescence by James Dobson. I have used it in my class and with my son. I goes through the different things that adolescents go through. You can even get tapes (maybe cd's now) with it.

Jolynne - posted on 10/22/2009

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Quoting Qiana :

what do i do about my 13 yr old who is girl crazy

all he ants to do is come home get online, talk on the phone or sneak and watch adult movies????



You need to put up some boundiries and stick to them no mater what the attitude. Dont allow her to have a TV in her room, tell her she cannot talk on the phone until her chores and homework is done. supervise what your child watches. If its not okay. dont let her watch it.

Esther - posted on 10/22/2009

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I also agree about removing cable and just allowing the tv for games in the room. With respect to the computer there are ways you can block certain sites as well as limit time on the computer. Look into programs for your computer. You still need to be concerned about other tv's in your home - many of the company packages have locks on the tv by channels and ratings, I suggest this also be done its frustrating but it limits there access to any television in the home. I have ATTuverse and I have many channels even the disney channels blocked. Many of the shows seem ok its the commercials and the music videos that concern me. You can then monitor how long they have been on the phone and have limits. I also agree you need to have those conversations with your child. What your expectations and boundaries are no matter what they are exposed to. The conversation should not be because I said so but more, I'm concerned about what your seeing, listening to. First you need to explain that your there to guide them and your also responsible for their actions. They don't have to understand it but trust that you have their best in mind and not obeying will cause them to be exposed to things that are not good and consequences that may be painful. Them understanding that not obeying the guidelines brings consequences and explain those consequences is important. You also need to explain that their actions also effect you and can bring consequences to you. Both are needed, conversations and limitations in this day and age.

Linda - posted on 10/10/2009

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I agree with the phone; take it away; because that is where all the planning starts. So far as the adult movies; there should be parental blocks on his tv if he has one in his room. If not, then maybe he shouldn't be left alone. I have a son that was the same way; I couln't go to the grocery store without him sneaking on the TV or on the phone. But the aweful truth is, we can take everything away from him, but its only going to slow the process down, not stop it. Talk to him, get your pastor involved and pray for him. Find out about the little girls and talk to their mom. Be all up in his business.

Jenni - posted on 10/08/2009

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for all parents, I recommend the book "Teaching Your Children Values" by Linda & Richard Eyre. It would help teach the "why" (like why is he getting computer taken away. Why is it important to learn self control and self discipline. Why should I control my thoughts and respect and love woman, etc...)

I hope all parents would teach their sons to treat women the way we wish our daughters to be treated (Please! I have a daughter!!!) The unclean images we see on TV/internet can't be unseen and provoke thoughts. After thought comes action. Its time to teach our children that sex is a beautiful thing to be gained and given as a special gift to that future wife/husband. Sometimes we forgot to teach our kids how our actions can hurt others and ourselves. Definitely find a way to be open with your children (they're already getting the silly, immature lessons from peers. And from school they are learning the clinical side of sex. Its up to us parents to give them truth and guidance)

KAREN - posted on 10/07/2009

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Watching the adult movies sounds like the real problem here. By adult do you mean R rated or porno??? I agree that the computer should be moved to living room, so everyone can see what he is doing.. But the come home,get online,talk on phone..that decribes every 13 year old in the USA.

Rose - posted on 10/05/2009

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unfortunately, we as ( new society) have taught and shown children that, sexual pleasure is culturally approved normal/ acceptable behavior out of wedlock. In that respect our children / grandchildren have no respect for sexual intercourse. We must encourage sex only between married adults. We need to enforce the bible teaching as the primary focus of our relationships. Read the bible as a form of education about matters that are life altering. We need to take our children to ophrans center/ homes and the hospital of HIV patients. We need to put the fear of God in our homes and schools. Turn off Television,radio etc.. And get to witnessing to the devastation of unprotected sex. As a single-parent or family( no) means no and God gives us all counsel in the book of life. Government has not raised the standard of leadership, when men in position have extra marital affairs and keep their political jobs, if a women she is a whore or pro. When caught in the act she goes to jail, but we as a nation have let congress, control us in to hell with sex sells everything. We need to say prayer in school and get the devil out or beable to deter bad behavior before it start. The conscious of everyone like myself, I've changed. A blessing will come,with prayer in all we do. Stop murder by raising ladies and gentlemen.

Brenda - posted on 10/03/2009

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sadly it is the way the world has gone where sex is the new God. you do not say if you are with partner or single; either way your sons energies should be encouraged to be used in several different ways; you could explain to him that there is nothing more attractive to lovely intelligent good looking women than a well balanced young man who can make them laugh speak well and has loads of interests to brighten up their lives; you could direct him to the song girls just wanna have fun and help him to understand that there are many worthwhile relationships formed by having clean respectable fun like physical activities together such as sports, swimming (sexy!) ice skating, walking and talking .........good luck.

Tracee - posted on 10/02/2009

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I agree with Stephanie, my sons and I have a very open relationship, as they learnt early on to come to me and talk about whatever was on there mind, its a trying time, but with understanding and not anger they will learn you will listen not judge... sometimes removing all of there things can backfire so beware... tell them you will trust them with it, but once deceived it is removed, always leave room for them to make decisions that decide there own fate, they learn quickly..... computers in an open place is always the best option... it only lasts awhile as hard as it is, try to enjoy the change, you are both learning together.... its as hard for him as it is for you because to him you have the power..... good luck

Brenda - posted on 09/30/2009

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first u probably should take the computer and TV outta his room if it is in there so u can moitor everything he does. If u want to keep it in there then i would discommect the cable from the TV so he can just play video games or watch aproved movies and disconnect the internet from the computer so that he can use it as a word processor to do school papers. i have our computer in our room and they have to ask to use it then i go check n them by sneaking up the stairs. its works for us.. good luck but remember that boys will ALWAYS be boys!

Ryann - posted on 09/30/2009

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i would take everything out of his room his phone tv and computer and put it all in the open so you know what hes doing at all times.

Sherrie - posted on 09/30/2009

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start by taking away phone...take away computer ....tell him if hes caught watching dirty movies you will take everything away...limit phone time and learn how to go on computer and back track to see where he was...or put computer where you can see computer when hes on i know its hard i have 4 boys 2 girls and remind yourself only 5 years left lol hope this helps

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