What do I do when my 13 year old daughter has too much time on her hands. She spends too much time on the computer or texting with friends. She has changed so much since entering Jr high. Changed her looks only want to ware T-shirts and jeans. Mostly black. She is failing her classes.She use to bring good grades home but they have been dropping mostly from not turning in homework or completing work. I am concerned about the friends she has made online. I found out the other day that she was texting with a 19 year old girl. This girl had sent her pictures of herself in her panties. I found out later that she had been talking to my daughter for almost a year. I also found out that she had been talking to a 16 year old boy. Since then I have taken her phone away and the computer. I am concerned because of the type of friends she is drawn too. The kind that like to ware black more of the goth look. What really upset me was that she pierced the lower part of her lip by herself. I don't know what possessed her to do that. Is it a staged that shes going through ? I need advice on how to handle this.
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Valerie - posted on 01/31/2012
get curious, not furious...you did good to take a way the computer for now...you need to set some clear boundaries with her about acceptable behaviors...try to find a positive point of connection to build a relationship with her...she is trying to find a place to fit it...why is she choosing goth? sometimes teachers or school personnel can be helpful in sharing things that help you to understand...think about going in for a meeting for guidance...think about counseling or parenting class...all can offers possible answers and guidance.
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