What Do I Do When My Daughter Gets her Period?

Erika - posted on 11/26/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hey yall my daughter is a very athletic girl but I have noticed some pms in the past couple of weeks and some discharge in her panties. I have never mentioned her in any of my posts but this is very important she just got her period like 2 minutes ago. What do I do, do I give her the tampons or pads? How do I explain what to do. We have a very bad relationship. I have also never used a tampon the one time I used it it was horrible so what if you wants to use the plug? She is now 14 and hates talking Time but she just got her red month. Please help me moms I will take all advice.

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Jenn - posted on 11/28/2016

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First off, you need to be cool and calm about this. She is going to have to have this conversation with her daughter one day, you need to set a good example. Don’t worry, you got this! :)


I had this moment with my step-daughter 2 weeks ago. I knew something was up when she was acting pissy her last few visits with us, and the family dog was getting a little nosey in her personal zone...if you know what I mean! We had a few period talks together in the past year, I felt it was important to open that line of communication with her, though I am not her mom, I am going to be there when it’s Dad’s time. Plus I want her to know that I care and want her to be prepared! It was a very interesting experience for me since I have no children of my own!


My SD waited for me to go to bed and as I was going up the stairs she open her door and said "I need to talk to you". At that point I already knew what was happening. My first thought was "be calm, be caring, she's probably scared as hell". Then she told me that she had some blood when she went to the bathroom then just started to cry, and I smiled and said "Well, now you are on the stoop of Womanhood, this is a beautiful thing!" and treated it more as a celebration, rather than a dilemma. I gave her a big hug and went and got her some pads. I felt that pads were best until she figures out her cycle. It’s hard for the young ones to determine flow sometimes, and also because her anatomy is still changing. I want her to feel comfortable with her period before we start moving on to tampons, and I want her to initiate that transition when she feels ready.


I asked her if she knew how to use them, she said knew from school. I still told her anyways, just to be sure. In her typical fashion, she wanted to call mom and to go home immediately, but told her that this was no big deal. Infact, this was easy stuff and we can get through it together. I did let her call her mom, cause that's important and it’s a big event in her life! She didn’t go home and the next day went rather well. She kept saying “It feels like I have a diaper on!” and we would laugh about it. I told her back in my day the pads were so thick, it was like sitting on a dictionary. That did make her smile.


I got her a variety of different brands/absorbancies of feminine products to try out and made a little spot for all her newly needed lady products in her bathroom. They make slender pads for the younger ladies and also slim tampons. Kotex also has free sample packs for tweens, I got a few of those coming for her as well. I didn’t take her product shopping, since I felt that it something she should do with her mom, plus she’s there 90% of the time anyways. I did give her a few for the road though.

Dove - posted on 11/27/2016

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Yep Jodi. I tried to post that this morning, but the page glitched on me.

Jodi - posted on 11/27/2016

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Oh, LOL. She is the one with the 600+ pound daughter.........I just looked at her profile.

Ev - posted on 11/27/2016

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I have to agree with the other mom's here. This is a parenting fail. It sounds like you are a mother from the dark ages where talking about this was considered taboo and the child had to find other means to learn what was going on. My mom was raised in this era but fortunate for me and my sister she was more than open to talk to us about all of it not just periods. Does your daughter know about sex yet either?

Jodi - posted on 11/26/2016

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Why have you not talked about this with her before???? I'm sorry, but I AM going to go there....parenting fail. Using the "we have a very bad relationship" is bullshit. Fix the relationship. She should have had preparation before this. Heck, my daughter had a purse with pads and a pack of pads in her cupboard by the time she was 10, so when she got her first period at 11, she was more than well prepared. If you haven't prepared your child by 14, then something is very wrong.

I would give her pads and then let her decide what she would prefer in the future in discussion with you and based on her own research and preferences.

Michelle - posted on 11/26/2016

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I agree with Dove, you should have prepared her for it, you knew it was coming.
I would also let her use pads to start with and if she wants to try tampons let her research what ones she would like to use.

Dove - posted on 11/26/2016

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Ah... I thought your name was familiar... surprised you don't already know how to have the period talk considering you have an adult daughter as well. You're just failing all over the place, huh? Please... seek professional help for your entire family immediately.

Dove - posted on 11/26/2016

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Well... you should have started talking to her years ago about everything, so that she was fully prepared and you would already know what to do. I would start her off w/ pads and let her decide on her own if/when she wants to use tampons. How do you explain what to do? Well, you are a woman and have been dealing w/ your own periods for years, right? Just tell her the truth and you really should be taking steps to have a better relationship. Perhaps some counseling would help you.

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