What do I do when the father wants back in only to get back at me?

Jessica - posted on 05/02/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter will be 4 in June. I recently took my x back to court for sole custody and to modify child support. I won both but in return I was bullied into agreeing visitation. He has been absent since she was 6 months old. He is verbally abusive towards me and doesn't try to interact with her in his visits. Id like to have him just "go away". She has no idea who he is, she calls my fiancee daddy (he's been there since she was 1). Im not sure what I can do about this. He tells me he's going to take her and what not. He has expressed a number of times giving up his rights so he doesn't have to pay anything. Im totally for that but now he's angry with me because her preschool went up and has changed his mind and is pushing for me to let him take her. I have a court order that states "when she appears comfortable she's allowed to go to his house". Honestly she has no idea about stranger danger lol she's a very out going child. On the other hand when Im not around she screams and crys for me. I just need some advice on what to do. Do i have a chance on stripping him of his rights? Can I go back to court and have the visitation canceled even though he comes to some of them? please help!

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Louise - posted on 05/03/2012

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If you can when he comes to the house record how he talks to you and then use this in court as amunition. Push the judge for supervised visits where you would not have to be subjected to his verbal abuse as there would be a chaperone. He will soon get sick of this, if he is only there to get at you. Play him at his own game and use the system as he is to get to you. He has no interest in your child he just wants to have a pop at you. Stay strong as a family and let him have his visitation but on your terms. If you think he would try and take the baby then I would seriously bring this up in court. Record all the time, hard evidence is the way to go.

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you might be able to get it modified for supervised because of her duress but as far as terminated probably not, hes making a feeble effort even if it is aimed at you. Use the comfortable clause, obviously she isnt comfortable, and visits should happen with you around until she gets to know him. Chances are he will get bored and then perhaps give up his rights for the fiance. I dont know what state you live in but here in MN they have whats called a bastard law sorry, but every child has to have a father regardless of how deadbeat or bad they are.

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