What do we do about our sleeping arrangements?

Deata - posted on 10/26/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter is now 4 years old and we have always had issues about bed time. I nursed her for the first two years so she became so used to me laying with her. Now that she is older I find it very irritating that she wants me to lay with her every night until she falls asleep. Around 3:00-4:00am every morning she comes into our bed to sleep with us. Now I am 6 months pregnant and she takes up too much space in our bed. It is very very frustrating. How can I fix the problem before our next baby comes?

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Amy - posted on 11/03/2011

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What helped with my son was I would sit close enough to rub his back for a week or so then I would rub his back for a few minutes before moving back...it helped him feel connected & I never stayed more than 10 minutes tops. If he came out at any point when I took him back in I only rubbed his back for 1 minute & left the room right then. I always told him what we were doing too, such as "Mommy will rub your back for 1 minute then I'm leaving so you can get back to sleep" it seemed to help if I told him how long etc :) Good luck!

Deata - posted on 11/03/2011

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Thank you for your comments, I started sitting on a stool in her room, the first night she had a very hard time with this she cried and cried, finally she says to me "can I hug you" I said ok but she had to lay down and go to sleep afterwards. So she did just that. Last night I sat on the stool again and she had a hard time with that, so again I let her cry and cry until finally she said the same thing, "can I hug you". I hope this eventually gets easier. With the pregnancy I have very little patience to lay there or sit there. I hope that by Christmas she will be sleeping by herself the whole night through. That will be my goal. Thank you again. I am glad I am not the only one who is going through this. :)

Gillian - posted on 10/27/2011

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I had the same problem when I was pregnant with my second and then my third. When I was pregnant with my second we had my oldest sleep on the floor in our room in a spiderman bed/sleeping bag then moved him to his room. I started a routine of reading a couple of books then sitting on the side of the bed, then moved to the floor and closer and closer to the door until he was fine sleeping in his room. I did bring in a book light and my own book initially in case it took awhile. It took about a month and since then has slept in his bed all night most of the time, except after a bad dream, and there was very little crying involved. My second child was a little more difficult. With her I made a schedule for the month and every time she stayed in her bed all night I gave her a sticker. That is what worked for her. My daughter just turned 5 and now is in her own bed easily. If they do come in at night now because of a bad dream they go to the foot of the bed or in a sleeping bag on the floor.

Rian - posted on 10/27/2011

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I have 2 kids, almost 2 and 4. Every night they like me to lay down with them, I will for a min then tell them I will come back and check on them in a little bit. I try to wait as long as I can, especially if they aren't making noise before I go back in and most of the time they have passed out already. When we were trying to train them to stay in their beds we put a gate up so they couldn't get out and let them cry till they finally stopped and got back into bed. It took a while and you have to deal with the crying but eventually it will stop. Right now we are training them to not come to our bed till morning. They have a clock which shows blue for night and turns yellow for daytime, so we tell them they can come in when it is yellow and if they come in before that then we put them back in their room. They were doing great till we went on vacation and were in the same room as them and would let them sleep with us if it would keep them from making too much noise that they would wake up the family we were visiting. You are in for a struggle but be diligent and eventually it will work itself out. Good luck!

Sherri - posted on 10/26/2011

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Sit on the floor of her room, no eye contact, no communication and every night move closer and closer to the door till you are no longer in the room anymore.

As far your bed every single night she comes in your room walk her instantly back to her bed and tuck her back in.

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