What do you consider a spanking?
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Linda - posted on 02/20/2009
These are our family's principles for spanking:
1. Only spank when a child is being downright rebellious, and only on the bottom.
2. Do not spank while angry. Take time to compose yourself, while your child waits in a bedroom. It will give them time to think about what they did.
3. Explain to the child why he or she is getting a spanking.
4. How many swats? Depends on the age of the child and the severity of the infraction. Not as many as you may think.
5. How hard? Try it on your thigh!
6. Spank in private. Not in front of others, not yelling. Teaching self-discipline does not include humiliation.
7. Never use your hand. You don't want your child to duck or flinch every time you raise your hand to pat his or her head. Your hand should always be an extension of love. Find some other implement, flexible, so as not to harm. Don't forget to try it out on yourself. A little sting goes a long way.
8. Try logical and natural consequences first. (An example of a natural consequence is when you tell your child not to run through the house, but they don't stop. Naturally, they slip and hit their forehead on the coffee table. That's a lesson learned with no need for further punishment. An example of a logical consequence would be when your daughter comes home late from a friend's house twice in a row, and the next few times she asks to go back you logically say no.) A spanking for every little thing is a cop-out; a lazy way to parent. It loses it's effectiveness if overused.
9. I believe spanking is Biblical, but it must be justified and practiced with self-control. After a spanking and after they have composed themselves, children need to feel confident that you still love them no matter what. I have sometimes prayed with my child afterward. Always hug a repentent child and wipe away their sincere tears when all is said and done.
10. Lastly, I know it's a popular point to say spanking a child only teaches him or her how to hit, but that just isn't true when the right guidelines are followed. When I was spanked as a child, I never thought, "I was spanked, now I want to spank!" No. I thought, "Dad (or Mom) is serious about this thing. I guess I better not do THAT again!"
Robyn - posted on 02/20/2009
I have always gone by the one swat rule. The first swat is for what they did and every swat after that is how mad you are for what they did. I use time out or grounding for the most part. My 17 year maybe got spanked 3 x my 13 maybe 8 x my six year old 2 x.
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All of thee above. Spanking is controversal, but I've spanked my kids and I don't feel guilty at all. I never hit them in the face , but I do think they could use a swat on the bum every now and then when they are being horrible. Talking till your blue in the face isn't effective with all kids.
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