What do you do when my daughters fathers girlfriend is getting to involved in our daughters life?

Chelsea - posted on 12/16/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My daughters father has a lets say not so wonderful girlfriend, I am aware that he was going to move on, because he cheated on me throughout our whole relationship, but this girl is getting too involved in my child's life. I understand there are good women out there but this one is not one of them. She has been teaching my daughter that I am a bad person and I am not her mother and that she is. This upsets my daughter and I have had talks with her father and he doesn't care at all. She has been throwing away the extremely nice clothes I spend a lot of money on. I have sent cheaper clothes too and she throws those out too. My daughters dad doesn't pay child support and he is suppose too. My daughter comes back in very I would say ugly clothes and her dad says that his gf doesn't like how I dress my child so she does throw them away and then puts what she wants on her. Today my daughter came home with her hair cut, my daughter had beautiful locks of curls and her hair was fine the way it was and her father said his gf wanted her hair cut,so she cut it. My daughter has no hair any more its cut way above her ears when it was passed her shoulders. What can I do. This girl and I have gotten into it and she has made several comments to me, that she will make sure that my daughter becomes her daughter and that it was a fluke that I had her. What can I do?


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[deleted account]

Yeah, you need to talk with a lawyer, and SOON. If she is in fact telling your daughter you are a bad person and not her mother (I'm not at all suggesting your daughter lied, just leaving room for the possibility that your daughter maybe could have misunderstood something that was said--I don't know), if she is trying to teach her those things and talking to her in those ways, that is certainly emotional abuse. You say it's your ex's girlfriend, not wife... do they live together? If not, perhaps you could ask the court to not allow her to be present during your daughter's visitations with her father. If they do live together I don't really know what you can do. Maybe you can ask about supervised visits, at least for a while, since your ex is obviously allowing situations in his home that are emotionally damaging to your daughter. You can't control what another person says or does, but I would think if there is some sort of abuse and/or parental alienation going on then that should be enough for a judge to intervene and set some major limits. Especially since they are not married so your ex is not legally bound to this woman.

JD - posted on 12/16/2012




My only advice would be talk to a lawyer. While there really isn't much you can do about the hair cut, you can probably have something done about the clothing being thrown away. My ex used to send my daughter home mostly naked (in just a diaper) in the summer. I talked to our mediator and requested that part of the court order custody agreement was that my daughter be returned wearing the same clothing she was sent with.

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