What do you do when this happens to your child?

Tamara - posted on 06/13/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My six year old son is currently in a split year one/ two class at his school and is considered a bright child, doing very well academically. His teacher has him sitting with the year two boys which puts him at odd with his year one peers. In the classroom, I have seen his as quiet but interactive and he gets down to work pretty well.
The playground however is a different story and we have been having social issues pretty much since mid last term (about March). What happened around then was that I started working part time.
According to his teacher my son is seen as being aggressive towards others yet I just don't see this at home - only his frustration and anger at the way he is treated at school. In other social settings he is friendly towards others and will interact and play well.
This morning whilst coaxing my child to be motivated about school he told us that the kids in his class think he is not normal. The reason why is because he loves to play with toy trains. I told him straight that it is ok to like trains just as much as it is ok to like toy motorbikes and remote control tractors. He wasn't very convinced.
I plan to write this down and call the school today to tell them because he may well act out because of the way he is feeling.
The teacher has asked for a meeting to discuss his "progress" which has me worried because it has taken this long to actually arrange a meeting.
I amd desperately wanting my child to be happy at school and to fit in without changing him in any way - telling him to not play with trains will break his heart yet even though he does like other things and talks about other things his passion is trains. I feel this is ok yet how can I convince him and let the other kids know that it is alright to respect that?
Any advice would be most helpful.

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Amy - posted on 06/13/2012

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My son doesn't feel like he fits in school either, he's still with his peer group. He says that some of them say he's weird because he likes science and math, I tell him that's ok because we still love him and that not everyone likes doing the same thing. My son has always gravitated towards older kids when we go to the playground because he doesn't really relate to kids his own age. I would encourage him like Katherine said and make sure he knows not everyone likes the same things. Use everyday examples of foods you or his father may like that he doesn't, things you like to do that other people don't. Just teach him it's ok to be different. The reason your describing is why many parents contemplate allowing their children to skip a grade because of the maturity level and the differences in what older kids like to do vs. younger kids.

I would also give you this story my son got a train set from someone my mom worked with when he was 2, this little boy had just started pre-school and one of the other kids in the class said Thomas the train was for babies, he was 4 years old and from that day on wouldn't touch his trains again so it's bound to happen at any age, it's one of the difficulties we as parents have to learn to navigate! Good luck!

Katherine - posted on 06/13/2012

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So he THINKS kids think he's not normal? Or they really do? There is nothing wrong with playing with toy trains! Encourage him to play with other things maybe. Arrange some play dates with some of the kids in his class.
How is he aggressive towards others? Did she say? Something doesn't sound right to me....

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