What do you do when your 11 year old boy hits you when he gets frustrated?

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Jodi - posted on 04/04/2011

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No, I saw that, and I agreed with your post, including that. I just wanted to elaborate a bit :P

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Soooo I agree with the statements already made about this not being behavior you can tolerate BUT it is also not behavior you can simply punish and ignore the etiology. There is CLEARLY something going on and it could be something he doesn't understand and its like a cry for help. Some kids have emotional management issues - perhaps even low level depression or anxiety that exhibits as anger/rage particularly for boys. He could need therapy or treatment of some sort or Perhaps the problem stems from a genetic disposition? Or a contextual specific? Perhaps he struggles with impulse control (disorder of his executive functioning/prefrontal cortex) or a sensory overload issue.... It could be a number of things or it could be because he is a brat. Point is you have to focus on figuring out the why and make sure he gets the help he needs rather than focus on the what. Try to remain calm and patient but also firm. He still needs consequences but he also needs to know you arent going anywhere no matter how much help he needs.

Medic - posted on 04/03/2011

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Personally I would not stand for it....Everything would be out of his room except for his bed. He would have to earn them back then I would arrange for a psychiatrist appointment and take him to visit the nearest juvenile detention center to see what happens when you break the law. Hitting anyone is against the law and there are 11 year olds in juvenile for abuse, trust me I used to work there.

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Kathy - posted on 04/06/2011

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I agree with the other moms my 3 yr old gets easily frustated and pinches and slaps but once he taken a breath in time out he always apoligizes and corrects behavior. Good luck :)

Wendy - posted on 04/04/2011

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i think you should focus on teaching him how to handle his emotions. anger manigement yes. to start you need to give him the alternitive (correct) action for his anger just telling him it is wrong to hit says nothing he needs to know what he can do when he is angry......my daughter had a anger problem and lost it more than a few times....i explained what and why lashing out was wrong first. followed up with ways for her to cope...eg: take a time out run to your room close the door and grab your pillow and punch,squeeze, or screem into it, i will give you 10 min to calm yourself and then you come out and we will discuss what made you angry...this worked and still today she is 14 and she just disapeers into her room when she is upset coming out a short time later to talk about it......Hope this helps.....remember always when pointing out the bad behaviour tell them what is the right way to handle it

Medic - posted on 04/04/2011

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All because my boy has just left the last baby thing behind...the toddler bed for a full bed....I swear the things being a parent does to what was once a totally sane human being......Atleast I didn't tell her to beat his rear....if he is man enough to hit like one he should be man enough to take it....that is BAD advice.

Stifler's - posted on 04/04/2011

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I read that bit of your post too lol there's just not that much info in the OP so I went with the least extreme suggestion.

Medic - posted on 04/04/2011

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Thank you Jodi.....I think I am just emotional today....stupid hormones

Medic - posted on 04/04/2011

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I feel like everyone over looked the see a shrink part of my post.......

Jodi - posted on 04/03/2011

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I completely agree with Jennifer. This sort of behaviour is TOTALLY unacceptable in our house. However, it does sound like perhaps he has some anger management issues, or maybe there is someone being violent against him, and this is the only way he knows to express his anger. I think perhaps you need to focus on getting him some anger management counselling, or see a child psychologist to get to the bottom of the behaviour.

Carol - posted on 04/03/2011

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Has this been an ongoing problem since he was little? or new? Do you have a good relationship with him? Is he having issues at shcool? If this has never happened before you need to talk to him very seriously - Hitting is never appropriate behavious - especially your mother - or any female. I aggree take everything out of his room etc, But you need to get to the bottom of what is happening, and show him other ways to work through his frustration. Punishing him is only half of it - you need to fix the problem before he carrys this behaviour into adulthood. If he does it again you may want to think about calling the police and get them to have a chat with him about the seriousness of this behaviour. Good Luck!

Stifler's - posted on 04/03/2011

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What Jennifer said. Take away his privileges until he learns to respect you.

Amy - posted on 04/03/2011

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take his fav. thig away for a week. no tv. it has to be something that really hurts or it will get worse and you will be hurt. Good luck.

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