What does real healing, real forgiveness and letting go look like and will I ever know it again?

Mapurisa - posted on 11/28/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I suppose this happens everyday and it happened to me three years ago but I only found out a year ago and am still dealing with it. My husband cheated on me and while I think i have made the decision to stay, I am wondering how to move on from this...what does forgiveness look like. He is making ammends everyday, he has recommitted to us and that helps but I don't know whether I will ever love him again or whether I will be ever happy again. I look at him and I can't stand him. I can't stand to think of what he did and I stay with him because I believe in forgiveness, in love in all things Christian and as a Christian, I am really really praying for healing because I can no longer talk to him about the pain. I know that he is sorry and me bringing it up always does not help...but I still want to talk about it..

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/28/2012

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I am so sorry Mapurisa. That is a very hard thing to deal with. I myself could never forgive for that ultimate betrayal, and I commend you for trying...if that is right for you of course. I would suggest maybe taking some time away to sort out your own thoughts and to see if this is what you really want. In the mean time, stay committed to eachother, and let the kids have plenty of contact. But still, you need time to heal without the person who hurt you so dearly breathing down your neck.



I honestly don't think Christianity plays a part in this at all. Each person is different and just because you are Christian doesn't automatically mean you can forgive him for this.



I would never be able to trust him again. Especially if it was a long standing affair.

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Mapurisa - posted on 12/03/2012

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Thank you very much. The Christian part of me is to acknowledge that he is human and he hurt me as I have hurt other people, but also that as I have been forgiven, I too should forgive. He too has learned from this mistake and as he is working hard (very hard) to regain my trust, that I should give him that chance. However, you are right, the pain sometimes overwhelms me and it changes on a day to day basis. So I take it one day at a time...there are days when i want to leave and there are days where I thikn I am going to die, but one a day today basis, God is tellingme je is holding me in the palm of his hands. ..that is why he tells us not to sin, because sin hurts...

SOPHIA MARIE - posted on 11/28/2012

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SO SORRY THAT YOU ARE STILL IN PAIN.... FRIST START BY KNOWING THAT ... TO MOVE ON YOU HAVE TO LET GO .. NOT FORGET JUST LET GO. WHEN YOU LET GO YOU WILL FIND PEACE .. WHEN YOU FIND PEACE YOU WILL ALSO GET REST FROM YOUR PAIN. YOU NEED PEACE TO FIND HEALING.. READ YOUR BIBLE .. TALK TO GOD.. BUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO STAY WITH YOUR HUSBAND ... FIND YOUR PEACE .. WE SOMETIME THINK .. IT' WEAK TO FORGIVE ITS ONLY A STRONG PERSON CAN NOT ONLY FORGIVE BUT GIVE AND FIND PEACE. GOD BLESS YOU MY SISTER.

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