What is a good age for a daughter to start dating ?

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Natasha - posted on 07/13/2013

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Well it depends how much you trust your daughter and how mature she is to be honest. If you get worried that she is hiding something from you try to be more open to her the she would do the same back. If she is thinking about it or if she was asked out the she asks you for your opinion the say yes if she is over the age of 11 ish and is she is responsible in the " relationship" let her carry on but if something wrong is happening too early the try to explain to her what to change or to stop it. Xx

[deleted account]

I was allowed to go out on dates at 15...My first real "date" was actually as a freshman in high school, and I went to the prom with a senior.  I was shocked and amazed that my parents let me go, because they were pretty strict, but they knew the boy and understood that I was mature enough to go out if I wanted.  They gave me their cell phone (I wasn't able to drive yet, so didn't have one of my own...) and told me to have a good time.  And I loved it...I loved that they trusted me enough to let me go out, and I loved that I got to spend time away from them.  I think this has a lot to do with your personal feelings on dating, but I don't feel that girls should be kept from dating on the basis that they're not ready to get married, so they don't need to date.  That argument isn't going to sit well with them in most cases, and it doesn't prepare them for what life is like outside of high school.  I'm all about preparing kids to live life on their own, and the reality is that they will have to date sooner or later, so it's better to talk about it, think about it, and deal with it while they're at home and under your influence than to leave them to try to figure it all out on their own as freshmen in college.  There's also probably concern from you, as from other moms who are wary about letting their teenage girls date, about sex and the role that dating plays in when teens decide to have sex.  Again, I think an open dialogue is the way to go, and I don't think that allowing a teen to date means that they will have sex-I didn't until I was almost 20, and as I said, I started going on dates without supervision at 15. 



My final word, because I've noticed I'm being long winded, is just that it's prudent to look at what age you would let a boy date as well.  I was very offended when my mom made an offhand comment once that she was sticter on me because my brothers "couldn't get pregnant."  It meant that in a lot of ways she didn't trust me as much as she let on, and it spoke to a very real sense of inequality and unfairness.  Maybe boys can't *be* pregnant-but they can *get* someone pregnant.  It's unfair to punish a girl for being a girl.  I am in *no* way saying this is a reasoning for why anyone who says they wouldn't let their girl date or has ever crossed your mind, just to be clear.  I just mention it because I know that for some people that is the reasoning, and they treat their children differently because of it-and children notice those things, and are hurt by them.  For me, I knew she meant well-but it damaged our relationship for a while, because as I said, I waited until I was almost 20 to have sex, and then was on birth control and used condoms, and she assumed I wouldn't do those things.  So whatever your decision may be, make it based on what you feel is right for any child, not just a girl, and have a real and honest conversation about it with your daughter-it will really help.

[deleted account]

Quoting Suzanne:

What is a good age for a daughter to start dating ? "18" I let my daughter start dating at 15 and now I have 2 beautiful Grandsons which I am raising they are two and four and I love them very much but mom is only 22 not married stable or mature enough to raise kids ..it's an epidemic grandparents raising thier Grandchildren...if you can Make her wait until she's out of college and has a good career boys will destroy everything you tried to build ....there is no hurry there willl always be time for boys later..



 

Janice - posted on 02/16/2009

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I have had really good luck with Tea Tree Oil. You add a little to your regular shampoo and wash your hair. Once a week seems to keep them at bay. Also heard that a little hair spray can be helpful seems they don't like it.

Janice - posted on 02/16/2009

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Dating in my house started at 16 for both my son and my daughter. Seemed to work well for our house

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Barbara - posted on 03/01/2009

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I have a 16 year old and that is when she had her first date. If you have raised your daughters right then they will be should be able to stay focused on their goals and ambitions as well as boys. Her curfew was at 10pm

Lori - posted on 02/16/2009

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I feel for each child it is different. Much should depend on the maturity level, the kind of "date", ect. Trust your instincts, and your gutt.

Yours - posted on 02/16/2009

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The longer she can hold off, the better.  I'd at least wait until 16, and then in groups or with an adult going along.



 

Samantha - posted on 02/16/2009

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I think it depends on how mature she is...have a talk to her not with her begging or whining(not saying she does) and talk it over, let her know of all the rules(curfew ect.) and I would say a sex talk may be in order, your choice. If she is mature 14 maybe 15...if not so mature I would say 15-16 or older.

[deleted account]

I think it's stupid to just set an arbitrary age for anything.  Each person is different and each kid is different.  I had my first alone dates at 14 and it was a wonderful experience for me.  It really helped me to get to know myself better by dating.  On the other hand my sister didn't date until she was in college and she's very happily married now.  I think that when your daughter finds someone that she's interested in enough to deal with the nerves of spending an entire date alone with them then they should be allowed that time together.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/16/2009

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i think it should be up to your daughter!! my mom never gave us a specific age that we were allowed to start dating!!! she did the sex talk and asked if we wanted to go on birth control... we were open and there was nothing to worry about.. you 2 should talk about it and decide that together!

Nicole - posted on 02/16/2009

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I will let my kids start dating at 16, and only in a group.  There is no need for a 1 on 1 until much later.

Tina - posted on 02/16/2009

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I tell my daughters that they don't need to be thinking about a boyfriend until they are ready to get married.  I want them to focus on becoming who God wants them to be, get an education beyond high school and travel on a short term mission/public service trip.  I agree with Linda Casados.  There is so much more to be focusing on and doing than dating and getting too intimate before she is able to successfully handle it or finds herself in over her head.  Good luck with your decision.

Linda - posted on 02/16/2009

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"Every date is a potential mate." That is a very real consideration. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't be dating at 15. I'd save all those intimate experiences for the man I would one day marry, and practice my social skills in group functions with my peers. I wouldn't date until I was mature enough to make decisions about marriage. The focus during teen years should be on education and answering tough questions about what they believe and putting goals in place for their future. You may be able to divert a teens focus off their desire to date by asking them about their favorite causes. If they begin volunteering, it makes valuable use of their time and makes them feel like they have a purpose. They can be making a difference and thinking outside themselves.

Nicole - posted on 02/16/2009

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I started at 15. so i'd say 15 or 16... but 13 and 14 i'd let her start going to social events in groups.[but with meeting the people of the group first. only with a cell phone with her at all times. and having a set curfew and place to meet at.] I have a ten month old. so i wont have to deal with that for awhile but thats how i'd play it :]

Hope that helps. ^_^

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