Ariana - posted on 11/26/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )
My son kicks off on the streetcar, will run about sometimes, doesn't always listen when I tell him to stop. I find myself having to physically remove him, or give him warnings of consequences to get him to stop.
My biggest warnings are usually that he's going to get moved, or he might lose tv or treats. The problem is he'll do something like, you say stop touching that, and unless you physically remove him (or sometimes even after you try to) he will go and put his finger on it, just to be a bug. And it's like should I say no tv if you do this? And then if he does the little one finger on it thing does that count, or should I just warn him off?
You know what I mean? It's like I don't WANT to get him in trouble but he just seems to push every little limit so that I HAVE to get him in trouble. I try to go out with him and he kicks off and I'm in this weird inbetween thing of trying to distract and keep him occupied and threatening to get him in trouble if he doesn't stop.
He also has recently started getting 'pushy' and aggressive but it seems to only happen around other people or in public, and at really random times. It's only happened once or twice now but it's still embarrassing and I'm not quite sure what to do. He'll start punching at me, but it's like he's doing it for fun, but it isn't fun. Like he isn't punching me in anger, he's just throwing himself at me and punching and making weird noises... I've told him to stop, and I warned him y esterday he isn't allowed to do that with me anymore (since these two instances) or he will be in big trouble.
But what do I even do? How much is just him being a four year old and how much can or should I try to control?
My worst problem is in public when other people are around. He tends to act better at home. Mostly because all the expectations are there, there's plenty of time to do things, and I'm pretty much in control of the situation/environment. He can get put into another room if he starts getting really riled up. Whereas outside or especially on a bus etc. he starts to lose it and I feel at a loss for exactly what to do. It's embarrassing to have a four year old start to kick off in front of a bunch of people, or not listen.
That's the other thing, what is or isn't inappropriate? I don't know. Sometimes I really don't care if he's putting his face on the window, but other people find it gross or distracting. So I try to stop him but he doesn't listen, and then I either give up (which is embarrassing and then he's learning not to listen) or I have to usually physically move him away from the window and he starts kicking off. Or I have to threaten no tv etc which sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. If it doesn't I'm embarrassed also and then I have to give him no tv for the night.
So I guess I'm not sure what to do...