What is the best thing to do for my Step daughter?

Smom2boys - posted on 10/31/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband has a 4 year old daughter. I myself am a mother of two from my first marriage and those two are 4 as well....Now the problem is my husband's daughter's mother. Even before we got together, she would leave her daughter with my husband for weeks at time and no one could get ahold of her. She would be out getting high and taking off with different men. Now that I gotten to know her mother a little more she does have an issue with drugs. She just contacted us recently saying we need to pick up her daughter from her grandmas until she sobers up to go get her. She's is also mentally ill as well. She cant keep a steady job. She moves in with different men and brings her daughter around it. We saved text messages from her saying she's on drugs and cant take care of her daughter. We decided the best thing for his daughter is to file some kind custody for her. Her mother agreed the other day that we can keep her during the week and let her see her mom on the weekends but only at her grandmas house. Her grandparents (the birth moms parents) are really good people and will side with us in court if we have to go that far. I'm afraid she only agreed to let us take her cause she was on drugs and not in her right state of mind. I'm afraid she will give us a hard time about it and end up going to court over this. My husband should of filed a long time ago but she threatened to take his daughter and move somewhere where we cant get ahold of her. She also said we cant have her cause she doesn't want to lose her child support. Which none of it goes to his daughter because she's always calling us asking to get her daughter clothes. My husband doesn't like conflict but lately he's been fed up and wants to take action. I know its pretty hard for fathers to get sole custody but since she is bad on drugs and her parents will side with us should we have a good chance of getting custody? We don't want to take her away from her mom, we just want her in a happy stable home. Her parents are going to try to convince the birth mother to get help while we take care of his daughter. We want her to go to preschool and get on a set schedule. We noticed a change in her behavior since her mother moved in with another man recently. It breaks my heart to see this little girl like this. When she's over our home she doesn't want to leave. I noticed she's been very clingy to me which I don't mind at all I know she doesn't get attention from her mother so I try the best I can to make the weekends fun for her and spend time with her. My question is has anyone ever gone through this or similar to this and can offer some words of advice? I'm just mostly concern of her mother adding more conflict to this and try to take her from us after agreeing to let us keep her throughout the week. Should we look into court? I try to stay out of most of it as much as I can cause I do believe its between my husband and the mother of his child but I support any decision he makes and I want what's best for his daughter. It scares me knowing his daughter is jumping from house to house and around drug addicts. Is there anything I can do to help the situation or should I just sit back and be supportive? I never been in this situation before? I don't have sole custody of my own two children but I have been raising them alone since they were very infants, I avoided court with my first husband because he walked out on his own and haven't heard or seen him since..... So I'm not familiar with courts and custody rights?

3 Comments

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Dove - posted on 10/31/2016

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HE needs to get a lawyer, compile all his evidence, and get his butt into court asap.

YOU... just need to love and support them both.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/31/2016

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He needs to man up and file for custody.

Ev - posted on 10/31/2016

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You should let dad take care of this and just support him in what he goes through because on the legal side of things you won't have a say in it.

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