What is the best way to handle a toddler (3 & 4 yrs old) who is having a temper tanturm because you are unable to pick them up and think that are getting too old to be picked up all the time?

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Emily - posted on 07/25/2012

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Just be honest with them.. "I can't hold you right now because I'm carrying groceries," or "You're too heavy for me," or whatever the case may be. It's okay if they fuss about this.. this is something they just have to work through on their own. They're learning that the world doesn't revolve around them.

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Dove - posted on 07/25/2012

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My 4 year old is more than 1/3 of my body weight and he still gets carried for a short time when I can. He IS too heavy for me and I can't always carry him, but he doesn't tantrum 'too' much (he IS stubborn, so does tantrum quite a bit still) since he knows that when I CAN carry him for a bit... I will.

Andrea - posted on 07/25/2012

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I do give them hugs and hold them. I am just wondering if they are having a tantrum somewhere because you are not able to carry them at this time. Also, my mom is getting too old to hold her all the time. When is the best time to say, "no"?

Emily - posted on 07/25/2012

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If you absolutely can't pick them up, just reassure them, make sure they're safe, and let them have their tantrum. Then hold them when you're able to.

However, a 3 or 4 year old is NOT too old to be picked up for comfort!!! You cannot spoil them with too much love. If they're asking for a hug, they very likely NEED it. They're not trying to manipulate you or irritate you. My five-year-old still needs multiple hugs throughout the day.

If you push them away at this stage, they aren't going to want to come to you for comfort when they're older and having more complicated issues.

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