Lizz - posted on 03/24/2012 ( 32 moms have responded )
So I need some opinions from people who are not in my family. I hope I don't drag this out and I am sorry if I do.
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years this december and we have a beautiful 18 month old daughter together. We have been living together since about 2007 (only a couple months after we had started dating). We have had conversations about marriage and how my boyfriend is against it. I myself am totally for it. I believe in it, I feel that it is the "right" thing to do, especially when there is a child involved. I come from a divorced family where my mother ended up re-marrying. My brother and I never had the same last name as my mother and it didn't really cause any problems or issues with school and things like that, but it always did kind of bother me. I feel like being a family everyone should have the same last name. I know that is not the only thing that makes a family a family, trust me lol, but I feel that it should be like that. I also believe marriage gives a child a sense of security knowing that her/his mom and dad are married, not just "dating". It doesn't seem so perminant to me for my daughter to say that her mom and dad are boyfriend and girlfriend rather than husband and wife. Now my boyfriend has said to me that there is no point in having a peice of paper say that two people are in love and want to be together, if they want to be together just be together. Now that is not what marriage is about to me. It is NOT just a peice of paper saying that I want to be with him. It is vows infront of everyone we know and infront of God. We have been together 7 years and have a child together, I don't know what can be more commiting than a child! Lol. So I don't see what the big issue is to him. I want to be married. I don't want to go the rest of my life and not have my wedding day, that one day a women will never forget. I want that day. Now I am kind of starting to feel like if he won't marry me this relationship is a waste of time. Is that wrong for me to feel that way? We also have never gone as far as a serious serious conversation on getting married. It has always been in passing and stuff. Now my next question is what if I ask HIM to marry me? What if I don't wait for him to do it? And if I were to ask him, what if he says no? Does that then mean the relationship is over? That's how I feel. I need help. Someone please give me some feedback before I lose it! Lol, thank you.