What kind of technology do you allow?

Daisy - posted on 09/08/2015 ( 13 moms have responded )

5

0

1

Hello Circle of Moms,



I'm so interested! What kind of technology do you allow your kids to use?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 09/08/2015

3,533

36

3906

Personally, I have never used parental controls. "I" am the parental control. A big part of being the parent is also talking to your kids about the dangers of these things. Many parents don't. We seriously have 13 year old girls (I am a teacher) with continual unsupervised access who have naked pictures out there that they will never get back. They stupidly trust these teenage boys who ask them for a naked picture and next thing you know every boy in school has that picture on their phone. Sure, we can go around and remove it from every phone (we can try, and have tried), but you can never completely remove it from cyberspace. They don't understand the seriousness of distribution of child pornography - many don't realise until the police suddenly get involved because the girl's parents are trying to fix things AFTER the fact.

So many parents don't include these conversations as part of their sex ed. They get so hung up on having to explain sex to an 11 or 12 year old that they forget to teach them in the context of our new world. They forget to teach them respect for self and others. They forget to teach them so much. In my role as teacher, I so often end up with the job of teaching those basic moral values that should be learned at home....

Sarah - posted on 09/10/2015

8,728

0

21

If you have an Apple product, if you use your iTunes ID and PW on the device your child uses, everything they do will push through i Cloud and to your device. I gave my 13 yo permission to open a kik account on his iPod, well I see everything he writes and he chose to write something inappropriate. The iPod is now in my possession. In speaking with students and other young teens, the parental control software available is easily rendered ineffective. Kids are smart and they will find ways to beat technology. There is no replacement for your eyes, ears and judgement. I think a 10 year old could use an iPod without WiFi, just games already on the device. Certainly not a phone. My 16yo just got a smart phone, my 13 yo has an old tracfone that he uses to call me from soccer practice etc. any other technology use is on my devices, and monitored by me.

Dove - posted on 09/08/2015

11,631

0

1348

Under 10... I have a 7 year old who has supervised (he watches Pokemon on youtube and adds things to his Amazon wish list... lol) access to my desktop and laptop. We also have a Kindle Fire that the family currently shares, but he does not access any sites on there... only plays some of the games that his sisters (both almost 14) have put on it. My girls have had a cell phone to share since 10.5 years old, but it is a flip phone from Walmart w/ only talk and text. I am getting them each an iPod for their 14th birthday, but there WILL be time limits.

Raye - posted on 09/08/2015

3,761

0

21

My kids (8 and 10) only have limited access to ipads and computer. They get 30 minutes at a time on the tablets, and they must do a language lesson on the computer before they can play computer games (their time is based on the score of their lesson). They do not have phones of any kind (although our 8 y/o says a lot of kids in his class do, and he feels left out). They do play on our phones sometimes when we are out somewhere and they're bored. But, again, their time and the content they have access to is limited.

Until the child is 18, their technology should be monitored to make sure they're not doing anything inappropriate (like sexting, aka child porn). They may think it's harmless, but it can land people in jail.

Jodi - posted on 09/08/2015

3,533

36

3906

Under 10? Technology is by supervised access. My 10 year old does not have any kind of phone of her own. She uses mine sometimes, but only supervised and limited. She also uses my iPad sometimes, but again, under supervision. She has access to a computer in the living area of our house - fully supervised and limited.

My 17 year old (almost 18), on the other hand, I don't supervise on technology any more. He is old enough to make his own choices and I believe I have taught him well on how to use social media, data, internet and technology appropriately.

The ability to be responsible for technology and internet usage does not happen overnight and requires strict supervision and guidelines that can only be relaxed gradually as they learn what is okay and what isn't. A young adolescent can make so many mistakes on the internet that they need to be highly supervised to monitor for this. As they get older, the are more responsible and more likely to understand long term consequences better. For example, despite the fact that it is obvious to you and I, a 13 year old really doesn't "get it" that once a nude photo is out there, you can't get it back.

13 Comments

View replies by

Vidya - posted on 09/14/2015

4

0

1

I use an Android app, it's called EyzUp. I'd categorise it more as self-control than parental control because i then let my teens decide how much time they want to spend and on what app or game. They monitor themselves, set their own limits. And I can relax knowing I am not too invasive and yet there are limits.

Anita - posted on 09/10/2015

5

0

2

My daughter is 11 and has an Ipad mini. All her useage is tied to my email account. She cannot purchase apps without my having to go in and approve and enter my password. Even with this in place, a couple slipped by my notice, (My fault for not paying attention and doing my research) These have since been removed from the device.

She is begging for a cell phone, but she will not be getting one. She doesn't have a need for it, and she is still too young in my opinion.

Raye - posted on 09/09/2015

3,761

0

21

It's not hard for YOU to be the parental control. First... don't get your child a smart phone. If they are in sports or have need of a phone to call you for pick-up after activities, then get a boring flip phone. Second, have the home computer in a public area of the house, so you can look in on what they're doing from time to time. They have to know you could "catch" them if they do anything bad, and they're less likely to do bad. Third, if they play games on tablets, they do so in the public areas of the house. No sneaking it into their bedrooms. And, periodically, you check the devices to see what apps/programs are installed. If they are texting, review their text conversations and know who they're communicating with and what language/photos they're sending. And keep talking to your kids. You can't just say it once and think it will sink in. Kids don't know the dangers... that's why parents have to be parents. Don't let technology be the babysitter, and don't rely on controls to block all inappropriate content, you still have to know what they're doing.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2015

3,533

36

3906

I don't have time to monitor online usage either. Being a teacher is a full time job and more. That's why they are limited to how much online usage they get......

Daisy - posted on 09/09/2015

5

0

1

Jodi, I think you are right- we have to be parental controls ourselves. But I don't think I am as strong as you are. I seriously don't have as much time to control my child's online usage. I can talk and it seems like they listen but there is no guarantee, as in that horrible video I sent link to. Those girls come from good families, parents talked to them about the dangers of talking to strangers online but they didn't listen. I think I need additional help, maybe this pumpic app, I have been obsessed with the problem the entire day, I just hope it works.

Daisy - posted on 09/08/2015

5

0

1

Thank you so much! I have never thought much about technology but now I am almost terrified. I googled sexting and cyberbullying and the statistics shocked me. Apparently, McAfee chief has raised the problem of cyberbullying already ion 2012! She said that 9 in 10 kids are experiencing cyberbullying without parents having a clue. Moreover, cyberbullying is one of the top suicidal factors among teens.
I read Amanda Todd story, since you are so well-aware of the online dangers, I guess you know all about it. The girl simply gave up as it was too much of a fight for such a little girl. I also googled sexting you've mentioned. If I am not mistaken kids send each other sexually explicit texting messages with nude pictures or even videos. It says that none of the photos sent can be deleted as they leave a digital footprint, is this also correct?
I am not sure if we can educate them well enough as the article I was reading about sexting referred me to this YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jMhMVEjEQg The Internet journalist Coby Persin made a social experiment. He talked online to 3 different girls and after 3 or something days he asked them to meet him online. All girls come from descent families and guess what? They all agreed to meet the stranger! One even invited him to her house!
I know this information is horrifying and maybe I am overwhelmed with emotions. But I started looking for a ways to protect my niece and my baby in future. They say there are parental control apps you can install. Now I REALLY need your help:
Firstly, which one to choose? http://activtrak.com/ or http://eblaster.com/ this are fr PC And there is also one for smartphone monitoring: http://pumpic.com/
I am very thankful for all the answers :)

Daisy - posted on 09/08/2015

5

0

1

I am sorry, I am new here :) I mean do you allow iPads, smartphones etc? Kids who are under 10 years for example, my niece just came over and she is bagging for a smartphone but I am not sure if this is a good thing.

Jodi - posted on 09/08/2015

3,533

36

3906

That's like asking "how long is a piece of string?" After all, it depends. It depends on age. Also use of technology varies - I may allow my kid a phone with no internet access, while the next person allows the same phone WITH internet access. So I think your question needs to be more specific.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms