What should i do ,about custody and child support if father occasionally comes around when hes in the mood to?

Monica - posted on 04/19/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Me and my sons father were together since highschool for about 8 years now im 23 and i brokeup with him in June 2014 when our son was about 2,And our son is currently 3yrs old ,because our relationship was unhealthy for us and our son. So i finally just gaveup on the relationship,Felt as if there was little if any hope for it at all.My sons dad lives back at his parents while me and my son live in our apartment 20 mins away. His dad used to be involved when we lived together but ever since we brokeup i have tryed to get him to be involved in many ways any way i can possibly think of and Im starting to give up now. He always has excuses for everything but has no problem buting hiself new material things and has no problem hanging out with his friends and family n drinking n riding his motorcycle around on weekends when hes off of work. But has excuses for his son.I support our son phyically,emoitionally, financially in every way on ny own, and i cant get him to pitch in at all anymore,he couldnt evn stick to the agreement we made of $150 every week for his son.my sons dad works in a construction company that my grandfather sponsored him into and earns $25 an hour in a union,with benefits. He didnt stick to the agreement we had when we brokeup and does not help me with money for our son hardly ever,Wont help me parent him and basically feels like he abandoned my son.He threatens to get half n half custody if i were to file for child support on him .Hes not involved which upsets me very much because our son is aware of his dad and is confused i beleive.I try to get him to call atleast but wont.He says hes a good dad and he says he "cares and loves oyr son and would die for him anyday"but in reality he is not a father in any way by his actions .He hardly ever calls him ,doesnt pick him up, (he agreed to on weekends and broke our agreement)doesnt see him,doesnt pickup my calls when his son wants to talk to him ,stopped picking him up on weekends. My son asks me to" call his daddy"i give it a few trys and he refuses to pickup.I feel he has put our reltionship and its problems in the way of him.being involved with his own son .My sons dad tells me hes hurt and he blames me for why he isnt involved .I have never tryed to keep them away from eachother since the day we.brokeup i even incourage their relationship but his father wont attempt to do anything! but yet tells me "im"the reason he stays away from our son because of our issues..he also blames me for breaking up with him and tells me "i chose" to be a single mom.Hes a very munipulative guy. My son is very smart and he is very hurt,its harder because he used to be there since day one now hes not he pops up here and there very rarely if he feels like it and i feel its hurting my son even more its like a tease to my son. I can.honestly say he doesnt even.see his son for even 24hours in a hole month anymore.My son tells me he loves and misses daddy and he Asks me can he call him he also tells me when is daddy coming back .It hurts me as his mother And i donot know what to do about this ive tryed to get him to be involved physically and financially but hes giving me almost no hope. but does threaten me here and there when i bring up child support. My goal is Not to keep my sons father from him i would love more then anything for him to be in his life My goal is to get the financial help for his child since hes unwilling to do it on his own and for him to be involved with our sons regular life. But i dont know what to do if i should open up a custoday case as well as child support ? I want him invovled And im scared it may push his father away even more .i sometimes feel bad for my son for evn breaking up with his dad because now my son does bot have a father basically..but now i feel i have to inforce something not sure what to do ..any advice my son is 3 and i need answers i need advice

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Dove - posted on 04/19/2015

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If you don't have custody and visitation established in court and he has proof that he is the child's father... he can take the child and not come back... and there is nothing you can legally do about it.

So.. yeah, court orders are definitely safer.

Ev - posted on 04/19/2015

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Then you should get custody, visitation and child support done. Dad can ask for 50-50 custody though. Be prepared for anything that can come about with this. Be sure you have kept record of dates, times, and so on of calls, attempts to talk him into seeing the boy, and anything else that is of the same substance. The so called agreement you made will not stand up in court as it is not a court order and that is why he did not follow through on his end of the deal.

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Monica - posted on 04/19/2015

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i just applied for child support friday, but i was unsure about if i should do custody as well because he his dad pops uo very rarley and once in a blue moon picks him up for a overnight but its very rare and when he does he acts like hes father of the year..i just want to know what others would do in my situation like is it safer just to do custody ..and if i do file for custody will the father still be able to fight it although hes hardly involved with our son and has not supported our son since the breakup? I have receipts of groceries and clothes and things i have bought for my son..

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