What should I do about my daughter seeing her father out of state?

Stephanie - posted on 09/16/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am 19 and my daughter is almost 19 months (so she's a year and a half). Me and her father are no longer together and we have been split up since she was 2 months old and she has never lived with him or anything just visits on my terms and I moved out of state back in April to better my life and my daughters and he still wants to see her for a week back where he lives and I wanted to protect myself so he can't say I abandoned her and try to keep her and I was wondering is there anything I could get in writing to protect myself without going through the whole court process? He's also not on the birth certificate.
I also have one more thing while she is going there my adoptive mom is wanting to see her too and I'm going to knock two birds with one stone and let her see her too and same thing goes for her too about getting something in writing. I'm q first time mom and I just don't want someone to see her and say some crazy things and refuse to bring her back and not be able to get her back without going to court I don't need any drama.. So please someone help!

4 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 09/16/2015

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I agree 100% with Dove - you need to have orders that are filed with the court to 100% protect your child. But in doing this, you don't necessarily get to dictate your terms. That child is 50% his, so he really does have equal rights. You are going to need to learn to compromise or it's going to be a really long 17 years.....

Dove - posted on 09/16/2015

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Child support is your child's RIGHT... it's not about screwing him over... it's about her right to be supported by both of her parents.

You either go to court and get a court order... or you take your chances on her not being returned to you... and either needing to involve the police (if they will help... sometimes they won't do anything as it's a civil matter) or the courts at that time.

You can write something up on your own, have you both sign it, and have it notarized... but that won't necessarily protect your child if he decides to back out of it.

Stephanie - posted on 09/16/2015

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He's wanting to get her this weekend and I doubt that I could get it done by then I don't want child support from him because I don't want to screw him over because u know he still needs to provide for himself as well. And I want the visitations to be on my terms. But say either him or my adoptive.mom refuses to bring her back what could I do? We just didn't want to have to go through the court at all

Dove - posted on 09/16/2015

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You need a paternity test (since he's not on the birth certificate) and a court order for custody, visitation, and child support. You do not need to fight it out in court if the two of you can agree on terms, but you NEED it filed w/ the courts. It is the only way to protect your child.

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