What should I do about my daughters lunches?

Kansas - posted on 08/08/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 8 year old will be starting 3rd grade in two weeks. Last year she started bringing her own lunches to school for cost as well as health. I should say that my girl isn't the typical 8 yo. She has a great palette and eats like a Top Chef. But because of this she is getting made fun of at school because of the types of food she's bringing. The worst incident was when she brought pan fried catfish with a jalapeno slaw and mediterannian style couscous (she usually packs leftovers). A little boy told her it looked like puke and it made him sick to sit near her, so he got up and moved as did a lot of the kids. She is so terrified of sitting alone and/or being made fun of by the end of the year she had devolved into bringing chicken and cheese sandwiches with applesauce. I know she'd rather eat our homemade food, but doesn't want to get made fun of. What should I tell her? Should I tell her to ignore them or offer them a bite or what? I don't want her thinking or pretending that our food isn't good just so she will make friends, but I dont' want her to be lonely or sad either.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/08/2011

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School is really hard. If she doesn't mind standing out and showing off what she likes to eat, keep packing her these yummy lunches. If she feels shy about it, pack her plain lunches. Or mix it up....give her a side with a plain sandwich. Kids are cruel and they will find any reason not to like another kid. Or just save all the fancy dishes for dinner.

Pamela - posted on 08/08/2011

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My dear friend, You have already answered your own question. When we come to moments in our life when we are being rejected in the rudest manner, it is the duty of our hearts that must rise above the ugly reactions of others
to bring in LOVE. Of course she should offer the food with a FLAIR and a SMILE. For example: "Oh, I'm so sorry that you're unfamiliar with Top Chef cooking. It does look different than the foods most Moms cook, but boy is it delicious! This is called (whatever she chooses to offer first) took a spoon or forkful lift it up say what it is (fish, grain(couscous)etc., Put the food in her mouth, chew and go YUMMMM, Then offer to share. In EVERY WOMAN, no matter what size, is the Divine Feminine Energy, that energy which HEALS, LOVES THROUGH ALL and does not cease...ever!!! This is why we have the children on this planet and not the men. (Big smile)

Anna - posted on 08/08/2011

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Has this happened repeatedly? Or was it mostly just the catfish incident? B/c personally, I find leftover fish to be particularly, um, pungent shall we say. Especially just after it's microwaved. I used to get frustrated with coworkers for making the break room smell all fishy. Of course, I'm an adult, and don't bully people about it like kids would. It's just a thought, maybe staying away from leftover fish in particular wouldn't be a bad idea?
Otherwise I would let her choose her lunches, as long as it's healthy and budget friendly. You could tell her that she shouldn't care what kids say, that there shouldn't be bullies and all but in the end if she wants to bring what they're bringing, I would try to appease.

Kate CP - posted on 08/08/2011

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Tell her to tell them that her mommy is a famous chef or that she hires a personal chef to make the food. That it's the same stuff millionaires eat. That'll make the kids either shut up or want to try it.

Well...that's what *I* would do. Dunno if it would work or not, though. Kids can suck sometimes. :/

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Sam - posted on 08/11/2011

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In school I had a friend who would bring crazy lunches (cow tongue sandwichs) and she would just say well if you don't like it, it's a good thing you don't have to eat it.

Stifler's - posted on 08/11/2011

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That's really sad, they are the bogans bringing less than gourmet food. They really hate themselves. I would tell her to tell them it's delicious and they're just jealous.

Kansas - posted on 08/11/2011

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@ Anna.... this has happened quite often. It's happened with spinach/feta turkey burgers, it's happened with tortilla soup. My biggest issue with letting her choose her lunches is basically she takes leftovers because of budget reasons. We do have lunch meat/cheese and bread in the house but it's mainly used to fill in on days we don't have leftovers.
@Pamela.... Thanks! I think the doing it with flair may get her thru what could be a tough lunch hour.

Kansas - posted on 08/08/2011

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Marina I hope against hope that she doesn't become that way about food. She's a little overweight (not much but kids are cruel) and I don't want my beautiful daughter to develop any kind of bad eating habits or disorders. And you're right I wouldn't want her to lie and she couldn't really because most of the kids know me. I just don't know what to do. Her favorite show is Anthony Bourdains No Reservations...so I did tell her to tell them about the show and how he travels all over the world and tastes food from those countries and because mommy and daddy are in the military and have been a lot of places that's why we like different or weird foods.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/08/2011

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Well, lying is definitely not the answer IMO. If the kids find out she lied, it is all over for her.

When I was in school, I was extremely insecure about eating in front of anyone...I don't know why....I just was. If I had an apple, I would not eat it all the way around cause I did not want people to see it turn brown. I have food issues. I actually stopped eating at school all together at about 4th or 5th grade. This even lasted throughout high school. It was rare for anyone to catch me eating lunch. I would not want her to end up the same way as me.

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