What should I do with a father who says wants to be apart of their childs life but makes things difficult for me?

Lina - posted on 11/18/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I recently just gave birth to a healthy baby girl, with a man that was not someone I was dating or in a relationship with. I am breastfeeding, and do not plan on pumping much and especially for not quite sometime. Her father is demanding to have her overnight, and to take her for visits with alot of his family. I really dont think he has any clue on what it is to be a parent, even thinking to be able to take a small 2 week old infant from their mother. We were getting along until I told him he was not allowed in the room while she was being born, until after I was properly cleaned up, and covered up, he was angry and left the hospital. The day I cam home from the hospital he called me scremaing at me about how unresonable I am, and started demanding things about his Christmas party and so on, and so forth. I was allowing him to come visit her, and because I live with my parents, his visits must be ok with them as well. On his two visits he showed up an hour late watched the TV while he held her, was ignorant to myself and my parents, and wouldnt even look at me. I seeked legal counsel and was told, I did not have to communicate with him, that I did not have to allow him to visit, and was told never to hand her to him without a court order, as he had no obligation to return her. He continually messages me, and calls me telling me I have to ask his permission to go anywhere with her, I feel like Im continually being harrassed. He has "earned" the right to know everything, but has not helped with her in ANY way. Has anyone else been in this situation? Does ayone have any advice on how I can deal with him? All I want to do is provide excellent and superior care for my child, and enjoy her to the fullest.


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Michelle - posted on 11/19/2012




Get visitation orders in place. A court will not let him take her overnight or for any extended period of time while she is still exclusively breastfeeding. Plus she is still far too young to be taken anywhere without you.

He does have a right to see his daughter though. It wasn't your daughter's choice for her parents not to be together so the best you can do for her is to sort out an agreement and stick to it.

D. - posted on 11/18/2012




You have a moral obligation to both he and your child to facilitate visitation. If you want to give your child the best upbringing, consider putting aside your feelings about him and co-parent. Statistically, girls who do not have good relationships with their fathers end up having issues with dating and making the same mistake you did.

I am not saying your daughter is a mistake, just saying that I am sure you don't want her to go through what you did.

Be thankful he wants to be a part of her life. Of course she cannot go overnight since she is still nursing, but she should be going to his side of the family for visits.

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