What should I say to my husband's baby mama? Help!

Lori Marie - posted on 01/08/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So I am pregnant with a little girl who is due in March and my husbands baby mama keeps calling and saying that I should give Mackenzi the middle name "belle" so she matches her brother. I have told her over and over that Mackenzi's middle name is going to be Marie because it is a generational thing in my family. Then she starts guilt tripping me about how they won't match. Yet, she is the one that refuses to hyphenate my husbands last name behind their sons last name. Now she is asking what she is going to be to Mackenzi. She calls her my baby and it irritates me. She is also always telling me what I should do with my daughter when it comes to breastfeeding and everything. She wouldn't let my husband have anything to do with what their son's name would be or anything and now she is trying to do the same with my daughter and I don't understand it... I don't want to be mean to her or start a fight for the sake of my step son. But it is getting to the point to where I am going to blow up!!

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Jodi - posted on 01/08/2014

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YOU don't have to go through her. HE does. Leave the contact with her up to him, and the contact should only be about his son, nothing else.

Dove - posted on 01/08/2014

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Ditto Jodi.... YOU don't have to talk to her at all. Your husband can call to talk to his son or to his mother about their son... but no other contact is necessary and should be discouraged. If she calls... simply say 'I'll go get (husband's name) so you can talk about (son's name)'... or if he's not there... say '(husband's name) isn't here. I'll have him call (son's name) when he gets home.'

Be pleasant and calm, but be firm and consistent w/ choosing not to engage in any discussion that isn't directly about the son and his well being.

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Ev - posted on 01/09/2014

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Lori-This woman sounds like my kids' current step mom. WHen she first married my ex husband and he and I would discuss things that pertained to the kids, she always tossed in her 10 cents worth. I did not like it. SHe always had to have a say in our visitation and everything. I had finally had enough of it. I told him she could talk all she wanted to but the final end of it was between me and him. It happened over homeschooling. My daughter was convinced it was the right thing for her to do and I said no and stood firm. They kept plying me with all sorts of information and a 1 inch binder full of stuff printed from the interent. I know it was the step mom mostly because she home schools her kids. To make it short, I said no way. In our state only mom and dad or legal guardian has that right. And when she heard me say no, she got mad. We had to butt heads a couple more times but she finally backed off. THis baby is not this woman's and you do not have to talk to her. Your husband needs to make sure of this.

Lori Marie - posted on 01/08/2014

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Thank you so much ladies. His son loves talking to me as well and then she ends up grabbing the phone and talking. When I go to get off the phone she keeps talking and I don't like hanging up on people. If I hang up on her is that too harsh?

Lori Marie - posted on 01/08/2014

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She is involved because we have to go through her to talk to their son because they live in another state...

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