Jerilyn - posted on 07/05/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
On June 9, my stepdaughter and her husband were involved in an ATV rollover accident. They have 2 great children--a 3 1/2 YO daughter, and a 1 1/4 YO son. Both parents were airlifted to hospitals (in different states). My stepdaughter suffered a moderate-to-severe concussion, but is doing a remarkable job working with OT and speech/language therapies. She was discharged home on 6/22. Her Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) necessitate 24/7 supervision, both for her sake and especially now that the children are home with her.
My son-in-law suffered much more serious TBI, such that he has great difficulty with his memory--sometimes he knows who his wife is, and sometimes he says she's his sister (he only has brothers). Complicating his recovery are some very serious physical health set-backs he's had recently, including multiple blood clots in both legs and both lungs. He was returned to ICU 6 days ago. Naturally, we are all very hopeful, but his short- and long-term prognosis is uncertain.
Their children spent the first 3 wks after the accident with her dad's parents and extensive extended family, which was a real blessing! The children returned home 4 days ago, but instead of Mommy and Daddy being home with her and her little brother, her "Grandma B" and her "Papa Tom" & me are alternating weeks of providing live-in care. She asks about daddy, and wonders why she can't see him. Both are very difficult questions to answer.
A couple of days ago, my stepdaughter said she wanted to take the children to see their daddy in the hospital, which I believe is NOT a good idea at all. It's quite likely Daddy won't know who his daughter is or remember that he has children, and he may very likely something "out of character" or inappropriate, which is very typical with TBI patients.
Could you please offer advice and suggestions on where (and with whom!) to start in helping the children understand the situation.