what to do about bullying ... help !??

Terina - posted on 05/02/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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bit of a long one.... my son is 5 and started school in sept 2011. 2 weeks after he started a boy kicked his privates and left a bruise , i told h teacher and they said theyd keep and ey on him to cut a long story short its now may and its still happening, not neccesarily kicking the privates but he has had bite marks, kicked in the legs, spat at, pinched, poked with sticks which i have witnessed, punched in the head and the face every time i try to sort it out with the teachers and all i get is oh will look into it, i spoke with the boys mum and she was adament he wouldnt do it then i get the head teacher phone me advising me i shouldnt have done it, i have tried everything, talking to the school, talking to the parent, telling my son to tell and he gets told to stop telling tales, ive told him to walk away but this kid follows ,ive evn gone down the not so nice route of telling my son to do it back not that i want him to but something has to be done ! the head teacher seems very carefree and tries telling well kids lie ! ive spoken to other mums whse kids are in my sons class to decifer the truth and almost alwys my son s telling the truth as 3 other kids say the same thing again i was told not to speak to other parents, my son a week ago apparently did stick up fr himslef they called me in to tell me and made an xample o my son in front of few other parents and within a foot of the problem childs dad and my son. guys please help what should i do!!!

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Terina - posted on 05/03/2012

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you too i hope you sort things out too sharon, its so hard not to make mountains out of molehills as ive heard someone say but these are our kids and believ me if it was the other way round i would like to think id try my upsmost to change this. its exactly what you said about psrents and teachers . if it was my son being complined abut i can assure you i would communicate with the troubled chid to re assure them i dont think its acceptable and i am working on it etc etc but we get nothing but a feeling of crefree attitude from both the school and his parents! i have a meeting friday ill follow up this to post to let you know sharon and maybe give each other support x no matter how ` petty ' it may seem to others x

Firebird - posted on 05/02/2012

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If this head teacher doesn't do anything about it at your next appointment, tell her that your next move will be to bring the situation up with her superiors, since your sons' safety is being ignored.

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Terina - posted on 05/04/2012

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i had the meeting with the school today and at frst felt a little intimidated as there were 4 of them sitting in front of me and my huband but im glad he came this being 1 of the reasons.i am happy with the outcome basically they have acknowledged there is an issue with this other kid and now instead of keeping an eye on the problem group as they put it before they keep an eye on this individual that is causing the problem almost like a 1-1 keyworker for him, and encouraging kids and my son to speak up if theyre not happy, they do this in a low key fasion so it dosent emabarass the kids and in a way so it dosent come across as questioning if you know what i mean. they were really concerned that i pulled my son out and dont think they really honestly knew how it was affecting my son and there seemed to an understanding from both sides. i thnk more comunication is the key to tis one .
also there is a liason tpe lady thats going to work with us as a family to work on my sons confidence etc as i think thats half the problem, like i explained to them i only acted upon this because my son was so bothered if he wasnt it wouldnt be as big of an issue of course id still be a peeved with the hurting and marking but when your child is that distressed its time to step it up . sharron keep on top of it and hopefuly you will sort it too. i think for now with us its a case of watch this space teach jack somehow to be a tad stronger may be not take things so personally ( somehow without trying to change him / his personality as thats not my goal) , while they do their bit of sorting this other kid / parents .

America3437 - posted on 05/03/2012

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If the school won't do anything and the parents won't do anything then take it to the police! It is not ok under any circumstances for your child to suffer this assult on a daily basis! Seems harsh but so be it.

[deleted account]

Look, even if the boy does turn out to have autism, he still needs to learn that his behaviour isn't acceptable. It's not right that a little child should be afraid at school or even sad at school because of pain being caused by another child.
I suspect the troublesome one at my son's school may have a mild psychological disorder, but I don't think that warrants letting him get away with hurting other kids or being a devious little trouble-maker. Parents and teachers need to work together to stop the bullying.
Good Luck, I hope you able to sort things out for your little boy.

Terina - posted on 05/03/2012

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thanks guys i just really dont want to sound like one of thse mums who refuse to believe my kid is the problem, i am aware the kids rough play they are 5 yr old boys its natural but here is only ever a problem when this kid is involved . wha makes it worse now is he may be autistic and we really feel hes been given privelages because of this , i understand if he is then the child dosent quite understand boundries etc ,
i dont want this other kid excluded because every child deserves a chance but at the same time i certainly dont want my son feeling threatened and worried about going to school , at his age he shouldnt be worrying about that, or what teachers are say.my son is the kind of boy that if he gets told off for something he didnt do he will go with it and not say he didnt do it as this has happened before he said he got a red card at school but he didnt do anything but i do believe him as he was genuinley upset when i asked the teachers they said they didnt know !!!

[deleted account]

I'm going through the same thing with my son too. I wish I knew the answer to the problem but I think the only way to get action is to make LOTS of noise. Don't let it rest until something is done.

Terina - posted on 05/02/2012

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i will ;-) im fed up of being fobbed off maybe the threat of the school board will sort them out x

Terina - posted on 05/02/2012

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i have been thats what the head teacher is, i have an appointment this friday with her again to get to the bottom of this, because this morning yet again my son was in floods of tears beggin me to take him home, and i did i am sick and tired if my son feeling like he does, he has plenty of freinds the teachers are adament he is fine theres no problem but the head teachers attitude towards ths i find quite relaxed, this is my sons first yr of schooli didnt think this would happen till later, the other thing is this boy we think is autistic but they arent allowed to say for obvious reasons and although if he is its not entirly his fault like i said in the orignal the mum was very stand offish and said basiclly he wouldnt do it yet i saw it with my own eyes on one occasion,i wasnt rude actually i was far from it i was open minded at the fact my son couldve done something first, all i said was is it possible for her to talk to her son find out if my son had done anything as my son has had a few problems and thats wh she got bolshy and denied he would do it so although he may have a problem i dont think his mother helps te situation and certainly not the school.its heart breaking having to force your child to go in knowing they will be ok soon buut he is like this for a reason

Firebird - posted on 05/02/2012

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Go to the principal, and if the principal won't do anything, take it to the school board.

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