What to do about my 17 yr old

Purplerose57703 - posted on 01/21/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 17 yr old stepdaughter. She has lived with her grandparents till last July. They called her father out of the blue and said they couldnt handle her and wanted us to come get her. She seemed to do good at first. I did what i could to make her feel at home. Here is the scoop. I went on my computer, she happened to leave her email open. On it there was a twitter post. It was about pot use. So I opened it up and didnt think it was really her. Well in this post she stated how she couldnt wait to get paid so she could buy a new "piece", how she got so drunk and stoned on New Years, How her "dad is a stupid asshole and obviously I do what I want". and I lost my virginity at 16 but I dont feel any different. I read this all at 5:30 in the morning and about lost it. I went up and grabbed my husband and said look at this. I didnt think it was her until I saw a picture of our living room table and our cat. So we went to her room and of course she denied everything saying it is just a fake twitter account and it is all fake. Well we took away her phone, and all social media related items. (This was on Sunday) So Monday night she needed to do a project for school so I let her use my computer. I figured she would just do what she was supposed to. So this morning I wake up and check the history. Low and behold she immediatly went on facebook. So what in the world do we do. We keep catching her in lies and we inform her on what that does. She is trying to play us like some fools. So do I A: Keep her phone, take away my computer, keep making her take the bus too and from school, give her a drug test. or B: Give her everything back and tell her we disapprove of her behavior and her choices are her choices and she can deal with the consequences. I will house her and there will be food in the fridge. Our doors are locked at 10:30, if you can get your truck down our drive way so be it, if not take the school bus and you can hire a taxi to bring you to and from work. you are responsible for your cars upkeep and insurance,If you want to date your boyfriend that is heading to prision for narcotics, pot, and DUI, then go right ahead. So I am just in tears. Any Ideas??

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Jamie - posted on 01/22/2014

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My child has reverted to her toddler days. I think talking is the best think to do.

Jodi - posted on 01/22/2014

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I think my question is....why was she living with her grandmother in the first place? How long was it for, and why was she not living with either of her parents?

Purplerose57703 - posted on 01/22/2014

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Thank You for your post Jaime. I think we are just going to have a long talk tonight on what the consequences will be for her choices and she can deal with them. I can not handle a liar. Whether she listens or not is her choice. Her life would be so wonderful if she would just get rid of all these negative things she is doing. I will keep you posted on our outcome. Thank You for sharing your post and pray that we all can teach our kids the way we were taught. :) Have a wonderful day!

Jamie - posted on 01/21/2014

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I am 65 and my daughter is near where your's is at. Oh! I wish I knew the answer. Oh I wish I had the strength to do all the above. Yes if my wife and I were completely on the same page I would be a tough and strong dad.

My dad loved me I had to learn the hard way and he was not a rescuer. If he had been... I as a man would not be alive today. I owe it to God first and then my dad. Our daughters lie, cheat, and what else they can do because they know they can get away with it.

We have had to call the police so many times on our daughter and they keep saying we are not tuff enough. A cop here in Paris, Tx took her to a child parole officer to let her know where she is heading.

I can't say where our daughter's will be in 5 years but I know if we cannot love them enough to get tuff they can be dead.

This world... lady gaga and folks like her are stealing our love ones. We help them die every day by supporting there bad choices.

Our daughter has been in and out of a few long term centers and can't see much of a change.

I know I just need to put her in God's hands and let some things happen.

I will not die for her... Someone already has. But I will wait for her if she comes back to her right mind, heart, and spirit.

I feel like I am whinnying after hearing your story. Your troubles. I am proud of your strength. Don't be angry that only hurts you and your husband. Yawl are good people and stay close. Draw near. Laugh! Dont think of her if you can. Find new things to talk about.

We are dating,

WE CANNOT FIX OUR KIDS.

What did your dad or someone who help you grow in a life where you are today?

We go to church but that is not for every one. I don't want to preach to you.

I love my wife more than anyone and she comes before my daughter. When my daughter leaves; my wife will still be here.
So sorry, I am no help to you!
Dad
Joe

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